STOP - is that love or control you're seeking?

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If you read yesterday's post here at the MindSieve, you'll know that I included some eclectic bits of reading from my Lenten studies.  Couldn't resist sharing just one more with you today.  It's from "Way of the Winding Path - A Map for the Labyrinth of Life" by Eve Eschner Hogan.

p. 43 - "Remember, our true essence is love.  The problem here isn't the love, but rather the need to love and be loved.  While our souls are love, our egos misconstrue this and interpret love as an ego need, instead of just who we are.  The ego thinks that in order to love, it must approve of someone else.  In order to approve of someone else, they must behave the way we want them to.  In order to get them to behave the way we want them to, we must control them.  Suddenly our soul's desire to be itself - love - is  showing up as a need to control others.  Likewise, the ego thinks that in order to be loved, it must be accepted and receive approval from others, thus being loved suddenly turns into a need for approval."

Eve's sentence regarding in order for us to love, we must first approve, i.e, change or control - was such a stop sign for me.  Isn't it the way I, maybe you,  make friends, view the news, critique our fellow citizens, try to change those we love into what we want, how we want them to behave, how we expect them to view the world?  If the opposing political party or my neighbor doesn't agree with me, it's easy, I don't have to love or even like them (as other children of God) I can just demonize them and make myself believe that everything they say is stupid, hypocritical, inane, not worthy of hearing!  So simple!  Oh, that we could just give each other a chance in this world to really, really listen without formulating our reply while the other speaks..........our reply about how our way is so much better!

How 'bout you?  Do you think, along with me, that by just suggesting how our friends, our spouses, significant others, and/or our political opponents should speak, believe, or act, will make these persons more lovable or even likeable to you?  Will we change them one bit?  As self-observers, do you or I think we might have just a few "control" issues that are speaking out, begging us to pay attention to our own selves rather than everyone elses' selves?

I think I have a control issue, I should say, I know I have a control issue.  Sometimes I seem to act as though I know how to do everything and that is so NOT true!  Any of that ever show up in your lives?