We just didn't know.......

We just didn't know

who we were until.....

until when? 

Now, maybe, maybe not ever, 

we just didn't know.....

Reunions of any kind have a way of piquing one's curiosity, imagination, one's ultimate projection of one's own life history possibly onto another person's unrelated existence and history.  Why didn't someone come to a reunion, why didn't they even reply to the invitation, why did so many of us attend?  All good questions to be asked collectively but thought about one by one in reflection - we can't possibly know what another person's story really was or is. 

Yet, I speculated a bit on those who were unable or chose not to attend my recent high school reunion - some absences sadly due to death, others ill health of their own bodies or that of their loved ones and some absences remain hidden, not necessarily to be mourned - only in that I mourn for myself the loss of that person's continuing influence in my life.  Surely in our wondering, at least in mine, there is an element of prayer, an element of hope that they didn't return for a very good reason, that they didn't return out of fear that adult reunion would be the same as insecure or narrow high school thinking was at times, hope that they will find from our inquiries to them that there is an element of concern and love that some may have never felt while a child, a teen, or a young adult in communion with so many others who were obviously.......

Obviously, what?  Corresponding with a friend and revealing  that my years of high school were such a time of insecurity for me, she as much as giggled through the internet at me, thinking I had been one of the more secure amongst us.  Obviously, we didn't know each other at all.  We were children trying to make our way into the world, to detach from our parents, to bring some honor to them in the way of grades or achievement and all of the time......I think.......our parents just wanting us to be safe and secure and to feel loved.  We just didn't know........ 

We just didn't know (some of us actually belonging to the 12 year club of school together) that these little, medium, big, tall, gangly, adorable, beautiful kids were affecting our behavior not only in those 12 years but affecting the behavior we took out into the world with us when we left our hallowed halls.

We just didn't know........

Reunion - A Blur of Love

I've just returned from an amazing event - in fact several events that I'll be reflecting upon over the next few days here at the MINDSIEVE. The setting for the photo above was the ALL Classes Reunion/Celebration of my home town's 100 Year anniversary of its public schools' founding.  That evening, my 1960 graduating class represented the largest individual group's gathering in the room, as well as I believe, setting a school record for classes returning to reunion celebrations!  Yes, 50 years and out of our 73 classmates, we had a 70% turnout (adjusting the number for the 16 of us already lost to death).  Seventy percent!

You may be wondering about the photo - of all the photos taken on my camera - and there were many....some were clear and some were blurry.  Yet, in my attempt to savor each photo, I found it difficult to delete even those photos with closed eyes and blurry features. Upon reflection I found that perhaps the blur of the photos may've been symbolic of the blur of emotions in the gatherings of a few days and most especially in the heady experience of our last evening together -  memories running the gamut of emotion - happy, sad, silly, ridiculous, precious, mind-changing, life-changing memories and heartbeats filled the room of nearly 600 people coming together to celebrate the joy and mystery of our years apart and the phenomenon of our returning to once more embrace each other in love,  hope and optimism for the future. 

The photo featured here happens to be a photo of me greeting one of my deceased mother's friends, Mattie Lee C.,  from the Class of '39.  My mother has been gone from this life for 6 years and to embrace this dear friend/classmate of hers, and a mother that all of our class would have known and recognized, and to have her arms come around me was to have a part of my mother there in that room.  How could I delete that photo - blurry or not?

At events such as class or family reunions, how conveniently we may be able to blur our memories, making them sometimes better and sometimes worse than they really were.  Unlike our tony digital cameras, IPhones, and recorders of today, it may not be so easy to delete those memories that would better be forgotten.  Far beyond the tech of our gadgets though is our God given ability to come together with old friends and meld the sadness or maybe even regret or bitterness into an amalgam of love, tenderness, and forgiveness - a celebration of joy - a celebration of the gift of our lives together.

It was a grand celebration - one I wouldn't have missed for anything!