THE MARTYRDOM CROWN

In my much younger days, specifically in my first marriage, I wore well the crown of martyrdom. Long, soul-searching years were put in prior to the decision for a divorce and the relinquishment of that crown. A very good decision; yet it was hard for me to give up the attention that the martyrdom brought to me even though my burdens were considerably lightened once the decision was made to relinquish the marriage and the crown.

Now I find there is another crown that I’ve worn for a while in my business career and somewhat in my volunteering years of late - a role that my blogger friend Barbara has referenced – it’s the Wonder Woman crown…. perhaps beginning to tilt a little for me. Questions of martyrdom come up again…….do I wish to immediately relinquish all the jewels of the "well-balanced Wonder Woman" crown?

My retirement from the formal business world is official as of 12/31/07, even as the days count down to “two left” - the crown has been polished with heart-warming, head-swelling accolades from my now “no longer business colleagues” praising my years of steady, trustworthy performance. My role of community volunteer, being honed the last several years, is still relatively fresh – I very much enjoy the praise as a person who can get a lot done, quickly and efficiently. (You may applaud here, of course at the “humble wonder of me☺")

Yet, I personally realize that I “probably” cannot compete in the volunteer world at the pace I once did in the business world – uh, oh – you see I had to insert the “probably,” so for now, I am not ready to completely lighten the role of wonder woman extraordinaire. But, I have set some modest goal for myself understanding that volunteering is all about using one's gifts in a pleasurable way to aid other volunteers in doing a job well for an agreed upon cause or organization.

In short, it’s a sharing of the crown rather than a complete balancing act of one’s own. You may be thinking, “well, duh, yeah – that’s what volunteering -and life- is all about” – but it’s a concept I need to accept for myself so that instead of hopelessly missing the burden of and joy of wearing a heavy crown, I can comfortably settle for just a slightly smaller, lighter, perhaps still sparkly tiara☺!