Tuesday, April 08, 2008
Friends and truth -
Reading Henri Nouwen's selection for April 7, Bread for the Journey, I am reminded of 2 friends that of late I have inadvertently harmed - not physically, of course - but mental anguish that I've inflicted.
Having meant no harm and still having a hard time understanding where I went wrong in relaying to each of them what I felt was a true reading of a situation in which we (me and each of them separately) were involved, I hurt them. One chose to tell me she was annoyed with me and did not appreciate my "take on what I clearly knew nothing about."
In the other case, I told the friend that something in our relationship was making me uncomfortable; I did not ask for severance, only an adjustment in our conversations. Saying she understood, she now has publicly shunned me - meaning I have hurt her terribly! I am very sorry about these two instances. I spoke to each in truth as friends and confidantes with whom I felt comfortable. I misjudged the friendship bond. I have apologized for the harm; but I'm not sure that the apologies are accepted. I regret not so much as speaking in truth but in the hurt they felt and that which I now feel.
Mr. Nouwen always has words to live by and possibly I was sent these words today - I paraphrase slightly to relay the message that he had for me.....
At times like these we need to be reminded that crushed grapes can produce delicious wine. It might be hard for us to trust that any joy can come from the harm we have inflicted, but if we continue to take steps in prayer and reconciliation with our friends, the bond that seemed to be lost may be found again and made stronger.
Thanks Henri, and thanks to you for reading today....
photo by SS