Last week I found a great Blog Tag Inteview over at Abbey of the Arts, decided to participate and thanks for Christine at The Abbey I was sent these great interview questions - so here goes!
1. What do Riley and Andy teach you about the spiritual life?
Riley and Andy (my beloved puppy dogs) give me great lessons for my spiritual life - non-conditional love and trust, the giving and the receiving of it. They believe in me and that I will feed and care for them, protect them against harm. They’re always thrilled to see me and assume I feel the same way about them. Heeding their examples in one’s spiritual practice could only serve to strengthen one’s relationship with God, Creator, and Advocate.
2. You seem deliriously joyful in your marriage, share some secrets for navigating life in common with a beloved one.
1. Choosing each other carefully was a hard job – truly a life long commitment which is on its first 25 years.
2. We spend time together.
3. We spend time apart.
4. We share and reflect together on #2 and #3. We believe that we don’t have to love the same things and be together all of the time but bringing our separate experiences, views, and insights back to each other is a lot of fun and keeps our interest in each other alive and well.
5. We try to give each other and our actions/habits/quirks the same respect that we would give those of a stranger. Being rude to each other is as unacceptable (or even more unacceptable) as is being rude to a stranger. This is a hard concept to abide by all of the time – daily life together can be too easily taken for granted; impatience or unrealistic expectations can creep in pretty and make a mess if one or both of us is tired, stressed or ill.
6. We try to use the same habits with each other as we did when dating – pleases, thank yous, helping with tasks, is just important 25 years into the relationship as it was when we were first dating.
7. We have dates – sometimes for lunch or dinner or a weekend or daytime excursion.
8. We remind each other constantly of how much we love each other and work at ways to show that love.
9. We share household tasks – religiously – laundry, cooking, dishwashing, yard work.
10.We share our faith – religiously – with each other.
Ten is enough☺
11. Whoops, one more, VERY IMPORTANT POINT – no mindreading i.e., if you loved me you’d know I didn’t want to do that or go there or for you to buy that or not point that out, oh, you know – NO MINDREADING!!!!
Hope you'll come back tomorrow to read my answers to the balance of Christine's questions.....and please feel free to share your own tip here about good habits you find for working successfully in shared relationships.
photo - SS - Beautiful Maui skies
I love your responses SS, especially your very thoughtful advice in question 2. Can't wait to see the rest of your answers!
ReplyDeletechristine took the words right out of my mouth. the cool thing is that i know these are not just words, but actual suggestions that you (both) put into practice. practice. practice. practice.
ReplyDeletehas your other half read this post?
Abbey and Lucy - thanks for your comments. Always treasure your thoughts.
ReplyDeleteSpouse and I do work hard on the 11 tips for a sound relationship and of course he's read the post and reflected on the fact that he would like to use it in counseling of engaged couples and those struggling in their marriages.
Thank you for these interviews-I'm especially grateful for your words on marriage!
ReplyDeleteHi EOW, thank you for your comment. We try to practice those tips pretty faithfully - glad you liked them.
ReplyDeleteBTW - I've been over to your site and find your class assignment of interest - I commented:)