SAVOR - Word of the year

- SAVOR -
TO APPRECIATE FULLY;
TO RELISH

My word for 2010

So instead of resolutions for the last couple of years, I've been going with the trend of choosing a word on which to concentrate. Being reminded of the new year over at Abbey of the Arts, my mind has been tossing about maybe half dozen words that I really wanted for myself. The words were not cooperating in that they just didn't seem to want me. Then without any provocation, while we were driving to church yesterday, the word savor just popped into my head.

Granted I had been thinking about the past year and how many new and interesting experiences with which I had been blessed, as well as how fast the year seemed to have flown by......and there it was - the word - SAVOR. I'll endeavor to remember this active verb and apply it to as many experiences as I can muster this year. It may not be your word but my wish is that you will savor the challenges, joys, and even learn from the disappointments and failures of the coming year. Now try and savor this for the day, o.k?

Mission Statement

Today while visiting one of my regular blogsites, Whatever Else My Life Is, I found a very interesting set of thoughts and questions there about why one writes and the suggestion that being able to summarize one's ultimate goal for writing into a few concise words could be classified as a Mission Statement. Hmmm, mission statement. Well, I've never thought about my blog header being a mission statement but perhaps it is........ -

"Busy is not a word or a way to define one's worth"
- Sunrise Sister

For me blogging isn't just about brushing my teeth or walking the dog - I go to facebook for that kind of chitchat. For the blog I try for concise pieces that flush out reflection on a bit of my life that I take seriously and something possibly to challenge my readers into reflection, action, or conversation. I want to think about hard issues, results, goals and practices that make my life richer for thinking or doing them and for sharing them with others.

For example, my friend at Mission in Malawi, blogged this summer about a family journey . I followed the site not to ascertain only whether or not her kids got sick on the trip or whether she hated the place because it did or didn't meet her expectations, I read it because I expected it to be a rich and full-spirited reflection of a life-changing event happening to real people in real time. I was not disappointed.

I guess I want the same thing to happen here at the MindSieve. I want you to read and be happy, or annoyed, or reflective about the subject I've presented. If possible, I want comment and conversation, controversial or not, I want attention, friendship, and somewhere credit (I don't need to know about the credit) that I've made a difference in your thinking for the day. I've made you laugh or cry or just think more seriously about an issue that is important to me and maybe to you also but one you just haven't articulated anywhere yet.

So, yes, I guess I do have a Mission Statement with my header - I don't type out posts on a daily basis just to keep me "busy" - busy is NOT a way I want to define my worth or my life.

SS Photo of Olympic Runner in Athens, Greece - it looks like he had a mission

Personal Values Assessment

Over at Magpie Girl's site there's an invitation to list 8 values by which we live our lives. A little space, a little thought and here's the personal list from me.....with some license for listing Self-Esteem in the mix, I'm not sure that qualifies as a value........but seems important to me in my "values mix."

Love - Everything else is secondary to this value for me
Faith - Love and faith are almost tied for first place
Service - To family and to community
Generosity - I have been shown such generosity in my life, I find it only right that I should continue to show others a full measure of it
Integrity - is a desire that I find extraordinarily important for me
Honesty - perhaps to a fault, I believe in honesty
Compassion - is so entertwined with love as to be almost inseparable
Self-Esteem - See above. I've been working on this one all of my life and I feel more and more comfortable with it all the time, in fact downright folksy with it:)

Movies, Addiction, Dementia, Control?

Image via Wikipedia

If you drop by occasionally, you may have seen my post about the movie "Slumdog Millionaire." I had some question in that post about whether viewing movies of poverty, torture, real life, fantasy, etc. is entertainment or not. I received some great comments both pro and con on the issue. Since that post, I've had the opportunity to view two more movies - "Rachel Getting Married" and "The Savages."

From the outset, "Rachel" did not qualify as a movie that I felt would be light entertainment. I ordered it from Netflix as I had read of the outstanding performance of Anne Hathaway in the role of a recovering addict. I've enjoyed her roles in other movies and wanted to see her perform in something other than a pretty fairytale movie. Well, she did act her role both well and convincingly as an addicted family member, the struggles she had in addiction recovery, the struggle for her family, and for her friends in relation to her addiction. Having some years of personal experience with addicts I suppose I thought I would just steel myself against the story of how sad and overwhelming an addicted person's struggle is in life and how a family can never "cure" the addict but often unknowingly contributes to the addict's angst during the addiction and recovery periods. It was tougher to watch than I suspected and found myself fast forwarding some of the scenes. I wondered why I had chosen to place myself in such a familiar sad story.

But wait a minute, the next movie I watched was so poignantly close to home that I could have almost written the script - albeit, there would have been two sisters and a brother in the sibling roles and the father would have been a mother, etc. That movie was "The Savages." I had seen a clip of it and I rented this one out of, I expect, morbid curiosity about the story line. I had lived the story of searching for that "perfect, idyllic setting" in which to place one's parent for keeping - feeding, cleaning, manicuring, diapering, if necessary. This movie was played out in my family approximately 8 years ago when my brother, sister, and I had to make the decision to move our Mother out of the care of her husband into a professional "assisted living" facility. We were extremely fortunate that our step parent had taken such excellent care of the woman he and we loved and kept her living at home as long as he possibly could. There was no other choice left for us as his health and ability to continue her care had become inadequate, threatening his own well-being and the literal safety of their home.

At any rate, here I was watching yet another movie that was definitely NOT entertainment for me. Yet, I was mesmerized at the authenticity of the movie sibs' discovering their father's dementia, their individual acceptance and denial of the issue, their search for the RIGHT place in the midst of their own tumultuous and unsettled lives. I cried when they cried, I felt their pain as I had experienced their pain, their guilt.

NOW, I ask you readers, why was it - in your humble opinions - that I was able to watch this true to life portrayal of a very sad situation - no fast forwarding, a great deal of inner turmoil, a lingering feeling of relating to the fictional characters? Where was the line that I drew that enabled me to watch a scene so familiar, though painful to relive? I've asked for your answers but I find I have developed an answer of my own even as I compose this post.

I believe for me it's possibly all about control. On the wide screen (or my little Netflix production) when millions suffer, when injustice and cruelty is the overarching theme before me, when the evil overwhelmingly crushes the innocent, I feel helpless and not up to the test of abolishing that portrayal of darkness. Helpless and fearful knowing that evil is so convincingly portrayed as imagined and witnessed in this world. "The Savages" story line was familiar and even though I knew the ultimate end of my Mother's placement, our decision, she would most likely be in a nursing home with none of us with her at the moment of death, I had some control over manipulating the circumstances that would keep her safe and comfortable until that time. I could relate to the movie because the brother and sister came to grips with the fact that their control of their parent's life was the only control they had. They could NOT prevent the death nor the dementia - they could only manipulate the care and comfort of their charge.

So yes, I think I've discovered my issue with movies and those I will select and enjoy, those I will fast forward, and those that I won't bother to hit anything but the delete key! But still, do you think it's about control?

Winter Grace here in springtime -

Revisiting a favorite study book Winter Grace again this morning during and after my prayer time, I came upon this quote about prayer - p. 35 -

"We cannot judge the value of our prayer by how we feel during it. If we open ourselves to a relationship with God, it will affect all our life."

Author Kathleen Fischer goes on to say, "Noises and concerns, what we sometimes call distractions, are simply reminders that we never pray for ourselves alone. We can lift persons and concerns to God as they come into our awareness. We may think that prayer means setting aside all else in order to think only about God; thoughts or feelings that are not pious or religious are distractions. However, prayer is a loving relationship with God that catches up all of life, not just a part of it. God is even more concerned than we are with every aspect of our lives: relationships with our families, new friendships, financial worries, physical pain."

I studied this book with a spiritual formation group that gathers weekly for prayer and discussion. We felt so strongly about the author's words that we spent quite a long while on a 200 page book. I find that personally I have internalized much of this book and no clearer is that to me than in my morning prayers. I am able to center and meditate for a short period of time but the majority of the prayer time is just silent surrender to those prayers for persons, the world, our community, my church, my children and grandchildren, my spouse, myself - in other words the seeming distractions that I bring consciously or unconsciously before God.

Are you able to block out the world in your prayer time? Totally focused? Somewhat distracted? Frustrated? Are you comfortable with Ms. Fischer's words about distraction and is the idea a new one to you or one with which you feel comfortable?

Photo - SS Enhanced Monoprint/Fall 2008

More about beginnings -

More beginnings? John O'Donohue's poetry seems to fit the theme of yesterday's post and the occasion for the start of my monoprint workshop today......

In out-of-the-way places of the heart,
Where your thoughts never think to wander,
This beginning has been quietly forming,
Waiting until you were ready to emerge.

For a long time it has watched your desire,
Feeling the emptiness growing inside you,
Noticing how you willed yourself on,
Still unable to leave what you had outgrown.

It watched you play with the seduction of safety
And the gray promises that sameness whispered,
Hear the waves of turmoil rise and relent,
Wondered would you always live like this.

Then the delight, when your courage kindled,
And out you stepped onto new ground,
Your eyes young again with energy and dream,
A path of plenitude openings before you.

Though your destination is not yet clear
You can trust the promise of this opening;
Unfurl yourself into the grace of beginning
That is at one with your life's desire.

Awaken your spirit to adventure;
Hold nothing back, learn to find ease in risk;
Soon you will be home in a new rhythm,
For your soul senses the world that awaits you.

Beginnings......

In his chapter on Beginnings in the book To Bless the Space Between Us, John O'Donohue has written these words -

"When the heart is ready for a fresh beginning, unforeseen things can emerge. And in a sense, this is exactly what a beginning does. It is an opening for surprises. Surrounding the intention and the act of beginning, there are always exciting possibilities. This inevitably excites artists. So much can actually happen between the moment the brush is taken into the hand and the moment it touches the canvas. Such beginnings have their own mind, and they invite and unveil new gifts and arrivals in one's life. Beginnings are new horizons that want to be seen; they are not regressions or repetitions. Somehow they win clearance and become fiercely free of the grip of the past. What is the new horizon in you that wants to be seen?"

In the spirit of my word of the year - "Growth" and my vow of taking on new challenges during the Lenten season, I'll be heading off Saturday a.m. for a two day print workshop instructed by printmaker, Frank Janzen, of Crow's Shadow Press in Pendleton, OR. I know little about the medium but had the pleasure of working with Frank in a brief 4 hour workshop in January and am wanting to learn more. The time in January was with 3 of my great friends and we were sort of all in the same boat as far as learning or knowing anything about monoprinting. This workshop lends a little more tension to the challenge as I will be with 14 other people - many of whom I know are skilled artists in their fields. At any rate and keeping that thought mostly out of my mind (mostly) I'm off for a new beginning on Saturday; I know that you'll hear more about the experience next week. Wish me luck! ......and a lot of courage too:)

Nourishment

March 1 in responding to a question regarding Lenten discipline, posed by Tess, I reflected that I find in this stage of my life, not so much collecting “things” to make me happy, rather I find myself invigorated by opportunities to spend time in rest and re-creation of my choice.

To fill in those reflective blanks for myself, I find that in the rest and recreation, I find two “things” that seem to have a tug on my heart these days -

1. Artists’ supplies and the artworks I am producing - coming from a place in me I feared might be forgotten after such a long respite.

2. Books speaking to my heart and soul about where I am in my spiritual journey in seeking closer fellowship with my Creator. In fact, my life with books seems to be growing exponentially! I find they're like new friends or perhaps scouts on a journey, assisting me in landmarks and direction.

It's not exactly a new question - but anything in particular feeding you during this Lenten season? Anybody actively fasting some of the time? I've never tried fasting......

We do this by encouraging one another....

I've been part of a spiritual formation group in my Episcopal parish, in one form or another, for the past 8 years. I say, in one form or another, as I've participated in the same format of study with at least 4 different small groups over the 8 years. One group of us has been meeting together for 6 years. We've survived illness, death, "sudden" death of one of us, marriage, divorce, happiness, sorrow, and God's blessings together. Sometimes we agree on a lot - sometimes on not much!

Here's part of the quote we open our meetings with each week -

"We gather together with one purpose - to become better disciples of Jesus Christ. We do this by encouraging one another to keep Jesus' word, which, as he said, is what we naturally do when we love him (John 14:23-24). Through the grace of mutual accountability, we strive to inspire one another to love and good works."*

We recite vows to seek continual renewal through - spiritual exercises, spiritual gifts, acts of service, by setting aside time regularly for prayer, meditation, and spiritual reading and seeking to practice the presence of God. To strive mightily against sin and to do deeds of love and mercy, as well as to welcome the Holy Spirit, to exercise the gifts and nurture the fruit while living in the joy and power of the Spirit. To serve others everywhere we can and to work for justice in all human relationships and social structures. To share our faith with others as God leads and to study the Scriptures regularly. To joyfully seek to show forth the presence of God in all that we are, in all that we do, and in all that we say.

The spiritual formation groups' vows echoed in my mind on Sunday a.m. while listening to our parish priest remind the congregation of our duties to become better disciples of Jesus. He was inspired in his sermon and wanted, I believe, to catch each of us by our collars and shout in our faces - don't you understand how important these words are to your life as a Christian, to your life as a member of this parish, to your life as one of God's children?! As I said, I believe he was inspired in the words he spoke and they were reminders of how far or not we are willing to go for and with our Creator.

I hear these words in my spiritual formation group every week and yet, hearing them again from the pulpit with sincerity and forcefulness from this earnest young priest, I could have thought, oh yeah, I know all of that and perhaps even felt badgered by God. On the contrary, I knew the words were inspired and were yet one more opportunity for me and for my pew pals to know that being a child of God requires more than sitting in a pew for one hour and a quarter on a Sunday a.m.......when we feel like it!

My way to spiritual connection is not the way for everyone and certainly there are those, if still reading and haven't clicked off already, who are being called into life, love, thanksgiving, and being by another name than that of Jesus'.

But, question - have you made a spiritual connection with God, or with Jesus, or with the Virgin Mary, or with Allah, or the Dalai Lama, or with a famous evangelist, or spiritual author.....do you have a spiritual connection to that which is greater than yourself - that which I call God? Do you exercise that connection? Do you encourage others to exercise their spiritual connections? Has someone encouraged you? I wonder about others in their quests for spirituality and connection......Some days I know that my living is not always in line with the principles that I've outlined in this post and some days I get actually sort of close to the target - not the bullseye - just the target! How about you?

*A Renovare Resource for Spiritual Renewal, Smith/Graybeal p. 99, Order of Meetingj

Photo - SS - Maui Sea and Sky

Strayed from the path already?

Over at The Painted Prayerbook on March 4, Jan Richardson wrote a beautiful post regarding a Benedictine's life, along with commenting about Jesus' strong reaction to Peter imploring Jesus not to continue toward the danger Peter felt was inherent in Jesus' direction - "Get thee behind me Satan!"

My thoughts about Peter, poor Peter, such a familiar figure you are to me. Loving Jesus, attempting to follow him, and doing your best to be a good disciple and yet, Peter, you and I still unable to get it quite right.

The journey into Lent is under way and I'm doing relatively well in following the path to which I believe I'm called. Regrettably, my steps do wander and I find myself "somewhere" off the path, mentally scolding myself - (BTW those are not "my" hairy legs drifting off the path in the photo!) all the while knowing that there is NOT a magic formula for a successful Lenten journey and attempting to be grateful for the days that I've lived so far, I mean, who knows what a "successful Lenten journey" looks like anyway?

So, I thank Jan for her words about the Benedictines, about Peter’s weaknesses, about the possibility Jesus rebuked Peter so strongly in order to keep his own resolve intact. Keeping my own resolve intact was never so clear as when I began Lent with a desire to walk with Jesus. While disappointedly finding myself “lost” from the path sooner rather than later, I need to take a breath and step back on the path, all the while reminding myself of the grace that is there.

I pray your journey is going well and that your footsteps and mine stray less and less as the Lenten wilderness days are experienced.


Photo - "Off the path" by CP, Ohai Trail, Maui

View, Edit, Delete and even Treasure.....

I've a habit of morning prayer, readings and meditation right after 1 glass of water, 1/2 cup of oj, 1 large cup of decaf coffee - the coffee usually comes to meditation with me.....this regimen seems to work for me as I don't have a job to race to or kids to get going in the a.m. and because I know many of you do have those items on your daily agenda, I try to remember you often in my prayers. I have a wealth of spiritual resources at my finger tips in my quiet space, also usually a dog or two, and from one to five lit candles - oh, the candle thing - my sis pushed candles on me until I could resist no more. I do have to admit that the candles help me focus (although no candles during vacation's meditation - that's another post).

One morning this week after my morning prayer and meditation, I clicked on my computer and faced an assorted, or maybe sordid, list of email messages in my in box......

I'm on vacation and even if I was at home, these were the immediate deletes - do not open - delete and move on messages from -

Target Stores offering free shipping, etc.
Bergdorf Goodman offering - "The Aggressive Black Shoe Sale"
Delta Airlines offering a way to earn 3,000 extra travel miles
Land's End offering a free midweek bonus of 20% off some items
Title Nine offering "Today's WOW"
Ralph Lauren offering "The New Lauren Spa"
NYTimes offering the headline "Obama Assures the Nation"
Barnes and Noble offering 20% discount if......
Barnes and Noble coupons for members
Varied Forwards from friends

Now obviously sometime in the past I have or in the future may purchase items on line from these folks but most days they are quick and easy deletes! And the forwards? I've told friends not to bother with me on their lists but that doesn't stop them:)

Proceeding to mail of interest -
Church bulletin with local and diocesan news
Updates from a local Board of Trustees, including Agenda attachment/last meeting's minutes
An assignment for reading and discussion for my weekly Spiritual Formation group
Facebook replies/invitations
Episcopal Relief and Development Lenten Lesson for the Day - I find this lesson sometimes thought provoking for the next day's meditation

On to mail that's fun and that I can't wait to read but save til last-
Replies to my most recent blog posts
A great photo or two of grandchildren in Disneyland or The Philippines or wherever their travels take them next
An e-mail from one or two of our daughters - two out of three regularly - the third I open her emails immediately - we never hear from her! Same with the son:)

So you see, I could live without all of this email correspondence - it's not of the urgent variety - but the fun, the spiritual, the family, the friends, the blog buds - these connections I treasure. I view them, I reread them, sometimes I save them or print them out for deep files that I hope someone bothers to read after I'm gone.

These computer connections are part of my life, part of who I am, part of who I want to become in this life and in my life to come. I receive encouragement in these little emails from people I know and from people whom I will probably never meet. I receive messages that I know come straight from God even though sometimes they're signed by you, my blog friends or family. I am grateful for all of them! So thank you for reading, for writing, for viewing, editing, deleting and sometimes treasuring. You are a treasure to me also!

May you have a blessed day!

Goofy or Eccentric?

My spouse and I have an occasional discussion of adjectives when one or both of us labels the other - strange. I'll say, "Not strange - maybe goofy?" He says, "Too harsh, let's go for eccentric!" Actually he termed us eccentric one day when I asked the question about who we really knew to be eccentric? "Us!" he declared. I don't know about the "us" part, I mean, we often have very different opinions about what constitutes goofy and/or eccentric, so maybe we're neither.

I mean what are the strange or unusual habits or things in your household - even if you are only a household of person and pet - goofy or eccentric? Any of your habits mimic ours?

*We seldom speak, even when passing in our own kitchen, prior to coffee, and morning prayer - one of us may deny this habit, but it is definitely so -
*One of us prefers separate bathrooms -
*One of us NEVER, EVER leaves the house prior to full bathing, primping, etc. -
*We prefer walls full of art rather than knick knacks on tables -
*We prefer contemporary abstract art to traditional landscape or still life -
*We often shop for art on holiday in cities other than our own -
*We seldom buy art prior to researching the artist's bio -
*We enjoy buying a piece of art just prior to an artist becoming "famous" -
*One of us enjoys designer or brand name clothes -
*One of us enjoys non-designer everything -
*One of us always has a twenty dollar bill on hand, the other never has a clue what's on hand -
*One of us insists that two gallons of gas in the car is plenty to get us home or to the store -
*One of us believes the car not clean until the inside windows are shined and the floor mats vacuumed -
*One of us believes that two dogs are plenty -
*One of us believes there's always room for one more -
*One of us believes that we'll never move again -
*One of us believes one should never say never -
*One of us believes that buying one of any item in the grocery store is plenty -
*One of us believes that you're already at the store, why not stock up -
*Neither of us would drive across town for a bargain -
*Neither of us has a Costco card -
*Both of us think we're out of toilet paper or paper towels if we're down to the last 3 rolls -
*One of us thinks we should hire a lawn service -
*One of us has actually mentioned buying a lawn mower -
*Both of us would rather have brown grass than chemical fertilizer -
*Both of us are comfortable with dogs in the kitchen -
*Both of us are uncomfortable with the idea of a restaurant that would allow that -
*Both of us believe babies should be in church with their parents -
*Both of us believe that women and men make fine priests in any denomination -
*Both of us believe in the Trinity -
*Both of us believe in true love -
*Both of us have found it -
*Both of us are enjoying retirement -
*Both of us are going to be the same chronological age today - Happy Birthday to one of us!

The verdict - goofy, eccentric - where do your habits place you?

Photo - Sunset on Maui

Found objects and memories and Tillich*

I find making new women friends face-to-face and blogger friends online, that many of us are gatherers - we like picking up shells, stones, twigs, branches, sea glass, and tiny bits of unknown treasure in forest or ocean side. I also notice that certain retail stores have, over the years, marketed to us the same items that we enjoy picking up off the ground ourselves. It's NOT the same is it buying from a store shelf ? No matter how pretty the glass or pebbles are in a jar, it's not the same as there's no memory attached to the collecting.

I remember walking home from school when I was probably in the second or third grades and kicking A stone all the way home or finding "diamonds" on the ground - generally the "diamonds" smashed Coca-Cola bottles that glistened just right if held in my hand for observation - they seemed like diamonds to me - like I had ever really seen a diamond at that age!? Those stones and glass bits hung around in my collection until I found they could be replaced with the next found treasure.

I was reminded of the childhood diamonds yesterday as there was a very nice "one" lying on the landing of our vacation condominium. My memory of childhood was so present that I couldn't help picking it up, turning it over, examining it and actually considering keeping it in my shorts pocket for a while. Feeling silly after not too long a time, I tossed it out the car window.....

I have a little dish on my bathroom counter at home that contains sea glass that I've collected on varying trips to Hawaii - Maui, the Big Island - in particular. When I see it there, no telling how many times a day, for just a second I am reminded of the ocean, the sand, the sunlight and of the love shared with my spouse on these getaway adventures. Most of the bits are green or brown, reminiscent, of course, of the "Buds" tossed overboard by some careless sea goer, then smashed by the waves on the shore over and over until the sand has rendered the pieces small and tumbled - smooth to the touch.

However, actually sorting through the glass bits prior to our present stay on Maui, I found quite a number of blue and white pieces in the mix and separating the colors, found a new arrangement on which to gaze until the next precious treasure batch comes in for sorting.

*FROM THEOLOGIAN PAUL TILLICH - found in The God of Second Chances/Erik Kobell - Paul Tillich once observed, God came to us in the form of a human being but can "just as easily have come in the form of a stick or a stone."

So why do you think we gather? Is it the memories only, the repetition of combing for an item - the calming affect - God's call? Do you gather and what is your most treasured gathering of late? I'd love to know.

Hmmmmm.

Photo - SS - fun on Maui

Happy Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day......

You might wonder what the photo here has to do with the greeting, well the photo reminds me of a lovely day with my beloved husband sightseeing in Portland, OR.

We don't save romance until Valentine's Day rather we take advantage of it whenever we have the chance.....unexpected worship service in an old Lutheran Church in a city neighborhood we found while searching for an art museum, later a stroll through the museum, lunch in its cafe, sharing of our personal opinions about the art, the history, the museum, the day; for two people who see each other every day, we still have a lot to say and share about some things, about everything, about nothing.

For us, Valentine's Day and the love it represents comes much more often than once a year!

Plan to share your love with someone today
whether sweetheart, friend, stranger, or brother
Give it your all with no thought or bother
and surprisingly catch it when returned from the other
xoxoxox

Oh, excuse the corny poem - it's as good as a Hallmark Card don't you think?:)

Photo covertly taken by SS in Portland Museum of Art/Frank Stella work

Special Food - remember it?

My younger sister is enrolled in a memoir writing class and was reviewing some of her memories with me a couple of weeks ago. She and I are 14 years apart in age so our memories don't always coincide or even exist in some cases. With the memories idea in my mind, this week actually during my "prayer" time one morning (I believe these kind of flashes during contemplation are referred to as monkey mind!), I began to think about the foods that our Mother especially prepared or considered usually Sunday evening treats for the family.

-Pineapple Upside Down Cake with real whipped cream on top - cake nice and warm out of the oven
-Homemade, actually "cranked" in an old-fashioned ice cream maker - so cold it could easily give you a headache with too large a bite - this was usually prepared in conjunction with a gathering of family and/or friends as the cranking took a long time and lots of muscle. When peaches were in season, the freezing bites contained peach chunks
-Strawberry shortcake with real cream - fresh strawberries, shortcake like a big biscuit - recipe from a Bisquick box, not a spongey imitation bought at the store, real cream - not whipped and not Cool-Whip
-Popcorn balls made from scratch, shaped by us all with margarine-covered hands into sticky, gooey confection guaranteed to pull out a filling occasionally - we actually snacked on these one time while all huddled under a large bedstead fearing a tornado would blow us away at any minute
-Donuts - shaped and dropped into deep oil for frying
-Soda Crackers crumbled in a glass with milk poured on top - now this one was a favorite of our Dad's and I'm not sure any of the rest of us ever took to this idea of milk and crackers but he loved it

So, that strange assortment of special foods is in my memory bank. How about you - did your family or your Mother prepare any special treats in your childhood that you especially remember?

New year, new soul?

Yesterday, prior to church, my candles, Bible, and assorted readings gathered at my spot upstairs for a little pre-church worship. Having read a chapter this week from the book "Lectio Divina" by Paintner and Wynkoop, I was intent on listening with my heart today.

I read some, I listened some, I read some more. The feeling of energy and rest were right, the lighting was right, the message.....where was the message? I reread the Bible verses, I went back and opened up the little zine "Crossing the Threshold: New Year, New Beginnings" Page 20 - reading, listening, where was the message? Whoops and duh, epiphany - I kept rereading these words and thinking weren't they lovely - not only lovely, but so meaningful -

For last year's words belong to last year's language And next year's words await another voice. And to make an end is to make a beginning.
T.S. Eliot, "Little Gidding"

AND

The object of a new year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul.
G.K. Chesterton

What wonderful words were captured in the zine and placed right in front of my nose, in my hands. I'm only 5 days into the new year and last year's words seem so gone and a new voice is filling my heart and mind - perhaps my soul is.....? Perhaps my soul is what?

Intimidating, frightening, humbling to project my soul's direction and to finish that sentence - yet one's soul cannot stay the same anymore than one's self can stay the same, so perhaps my soul is what? I'm not sure. How would you finish that sentence for your own soul?

2008 New and Bests Review

-Retirement - very under rated
-20 books more or less read - my favorite - "Winter Grace" by Kathleen Fischer
-48 Movies - Netflix chick
-Favorite Movie - romance/light - The Jane Austen Book Club
-Favorite Movie - drama based on history - The Great Debaters
-Favorite Television Movies - drama - all BBC Series - Bleak House*, Our Mutual Friend*, The -Barchester Chronicles - 2 out of 3 BBC's are Charles Dickens' work
-Amusing Television Series Rental - the first series of Sex and the City
-Most frequently viewed tv shows - The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, Keith Olbermann, Rachel Maddow - all news shows of some ilk or another
-Entered 4 juried art shows with collage pieces/accepted in 3 of them
-2 blog sites + keeping up with a dozen other "regular favorites"
-Facebook enrollment
-Stood and steered at the helm of a sailboat and smiled
-Took two surfing lessons
-Snorkeled without a life preserver
-Went to an "after Christmas sale" in a NY department store
-Visited the Cloisters in NYC
-Attended a Yoga Spiritual Retreat
-Attended an Episcopal Women's Church Camp Weekend
-Trips a dozen+ some by car, some by plane
-Embraced poetry as a new discipline
-Yoga class devotee

You may have noticed my new blog header about not defining one's worth by "busy".....I've asked myself if this year was all about busy for me and I've answered myself with "no, it was not:)!" Busy for busy's sake to me is wiling away one's time with no pleasure, no personal growth, no challenge. I've reached for all three this year and have plans for 2009 - how 'bout you?

Fourth Tuesday in Advent

I have not been disappointed by the book and by the experience that reading the book, God with Us, has given me during Advent. It is a compilation of writings from 6 different authors and has proved rich in its provisions for my Advent journey.

This a.m. the author, Kathleen Norris, had very interesting reflections based upon this poetry from Denise Levertov -

Annunciation

Aren't there annunciations
of one sort or another
in most lives?

Some unwillingly
undertake great destinies,
enact them in sullen pride,
uncomprehending.

More often those moments
when roads of light and storm
open from darkness in a man or woman,
are turned away from
in dread, in a wave of weakness, in despair
and with relief.
Ordinary lives continue.
God does not smite them.
But the gates close, the pathway vanishes.

A while after reading Ms. Norris' meditation for the day, my spouse and I chatted about the subject of Ms. Norris' reflection. We agreed that yes, God calls us all at one time or many times and if we do not answer the call God does not (generally) smite us. Sometimes the gates do close and the pathway may vanish. However, we agreed again, that the God we honor and worship although not smiting us, neither gives up on us. Our God is persistent in calling us many times - sometimes as long as "it takes" and perhaps from here to eternity.

We reflected times that we have been "called" and have accepted what seemed the obvious, gate and pathway. Who knows how many other times God has called us and we have neither heard, nor followed. How about you - are you aware of God's big calls to you and have you answered? And the little calls, how about those? Happy listening!

Photo - internet site - Religious Mall

Spiritual Exploration

Some time in Spring over at Abbey of the Arts I saw an invitation to a Contemplative Art Retreat (during Advent) entitled "Exploring Monastic Rhythms Through Art & Movement," I decided, for some reason, to give it a go......the exploration of sacred rhythms of my life was more than intriguing - it seemed a must! Little did I know what bounty was in store.

The retreat experience for me seemed specifically designed to awaken, to permeate, to support - not only my faith and spiritual resolve - but my growing curiosity and involvement with the creative process.

The retreat's structure was built upon the ancient practice of praying the hours - dawn, day, dusk and night. Yoga, reflections, scripture, music, poetry and art-making were scheduled around and specifically to the rhythms of time and my place in that time. It was a powerful experience.

I shared a bit of poetry with you yesterday, will continue to do so today - probably all week, and maybe through Advent:) Some of the poetry will be mine, some will be from Thomas Merton, A Book of Hours edited by Kathleen Deignan, and some will be from Holy scripture.

DAWN - What secret and intrepid visitor softly springs the locks of time. Thomas Merton

DAWN - I will know your first footfall, I am eager to greet you.
Sunrise Sister

DAWN - I fly with the wings of the dawn.
From Psalm 139

What do you feel about the dawn? Do you ever actually see it? Do you greet it or does it greet you? Can you actually recollect any important feelings in your life about the dawn?

Word(s) of the Year

Intrigued by Christine Kane's December '07 post, I considered taking on a WORD for '08 rather than a list of resolutions. Seemed simple enough, although settling on a single word was a challenge. I mulled over Christine's word suggestions and at "first pass" selected a few, a dozen, lots?

Looking back at them now they were descriptive words of can do, optimism, will do, do it! Courage, confidence, action, trust, patience, fun, expansion, exploration, adventure, openness, discipline, awareness, risk, choice, artfulness, attention, focus, deliberateness, commitment - this was my SHORT list! Whoa - I was supposed to select a word, not a dictionary!

My motive for word selection as resolution was to kick myself into production of long overdue and "in the closet" creative, 2 dimensional art. In early 2008, having chased after other artists' works for years while sublimating my creative yearn for something really my own, I had run out of excuses for non-creating!

All of the words mentioned above were appropriate to my need to just begin the process of creating again.....again, after a 30 year hiatus! After a good bit of mental gyration, I finally settled on the word, TRUST.

Trust in me, trust in my ability to create, trust in my judgment, trust in myself! I cannot say that I've thought about this word every single day of 2008 - that would be a lie - but I've thought about it enough, mouthed my desires about the creative process with other artists, dabbled and stuttered and finally when one day asked - "Are you an artist? I TRUSTED in myself enough to say, "Yes, I am!"

The piece pictured here is one of my collages. This particular piece was selected to be shown in an August regional juried art exhibit. I've two other pieces similarly selected in juried events and I shake myself a little to believe that fact! I struggle now, of course, with TRUSTING enough to continue creating other pieces - trusting not that they will be brilliant, nor selected, nor sold, but that they will continue to allow me to trust and know that I am a creature born to create! Trust - it's a powerful word! Thanks Christine for the word versus resolution idea!