Created

Constant motion from waking 'til sleeping
It must be tiring - ya' think - maybe not

Observers in awe of the energy are illuminated, exhausted just watching
Trying to keep up with the thinking, examining, exploring, mimicking, challenging, daring, defying

Conquering pesky weariness by continuing upright, though somnambulant
Vigorously denying fatigue, sleep, and certainly pajamas

Charming, darling, bright, maddening, exasperating
Extraordinary little creature

Creature, you ask - well, he had to have been created
There's no other descriptor appropriate

Thank God for this little four year old wonder
And for the capacity created in us to unquestionably love him

Constant motion from waking 'til sleeping
It must be tiring - ya' think - maybe not

P.S. Thank God for his precious big sister as well
A bride in waiting - or so she sings in the video:)

This short post was inspired by Henry Scott McMullin - age 4
July '09, Walla Walla, WA

Thoughts on funerals

Funerals - nobody likes the subject but how important it is to recognize that it is a rite of passage, a place for love, remembrance, grief, and joy to be shared. I often read an obituary stating "no funeral is to be held at the request of the deceased." How cruel it seems to deny one's loved ones a chance to mourn, a chance to remember, a chance to say good-bye singly and in the company of family and friends. Anyway, the funeral is not for the deceased but for the beloved congregation from which the deceased has now departed. And although not every person or family decides to have a funeral, there is a strong rumor circulating that everyone does die eventually so a funeral is an option; an option for clearing up one's final life on earth, I suppose. I suppose and I propose for my own demise at a ripe, old and ornery age, the following:

Funeral optional? - No, mandatory and in an Episcopal Church, please
Why mandatory - See below
a. To memorialize and celebrate life as a blessed gift from God
b. To publicly announce my belief in the Trinity and in the Resurrection
c. To have a place for my family to share their love and their grief with each other and friends
Cremation - Yes
Why Cremation - See below
a. To eliminate anyone seeing manicure, makeup application and hairstyle that some sweet person has inflicted upon my body based upon a picture taken in my young and sassy youth - no thank you
b. No one will have to decide what I'm going to wear
c. In order for my cremains to return to the earth - dust to dust
d. Caskets are a waste of money
Accessories
a. Urn - suitable for reuse by other members of the family at a much later time
b. Flowers - simple arrangements behind altar, candles burning, table set for Holy Eucharist
c. Burial Rite II with HE II, service performed hopefully by a minister that might have known me sometime in life - but if he/she didn't know me - it matters not as long as she/he knows God and can perform the liturgy well
Music
a. Soft organ music playing as congregation gathers would be nice but only IF there is a competent organist available
b. Two joyous Easter hymns - one to open and one to close - celebrating the Resurrection
c. I do NOT want Amazing Grace to be played, sung or even hummed
Words of Remembrance/Homily optional*
a. A family member is absolutely NOT expected to speak about me
b. My own words** may be read by a friend or the priest*
Psalm, Old and New Testament Readings
a. Two readings executed by members of the family or family friends
Psalm 139:1-18, Job 19:23-27a, 2 Corinthians 4:16-5:9
Gospel read by the Priest
a. John 14:1-7
Celebration of Holy Eucharist
Commendation
Closing Hymn/Dismissal with Alleluias
A private or public inurnment - family may decide
A festive reception with lots of food

**My own words of remembrance for the funeral will be filed in my personal file cabinet under "Churches" - subtitled Funeral or with my will - please look for them at the "appropriate" time - preferably prior to the funeral:)

Personal Values Assessment

Over at Magpie Girl's site there's an invitation to list 8 values by which we live our lives. A little space, a little thought and here's the personal list from me.....with some license for listing Self-Esteem in the mix, I'm not sure that qualifies as a value........but seems important to me in my "values mix."

Love - Everything else is secondary to this value for me
Faith - Love and faith are almost tied for first place
Service - To family and to community
Generosity - I have been shown such generosity in my life, I find it only right that I should continue to show others a full measure of it
Integrity - is a desire that I find extraordinarily important for me
Honesty - perhaps to a fault, I believe in honesty
Compassion - is so entertwined with love as to be almost inseparable
Self-Esteem - See above. I've been working on this one all of my life and I feel more and more comfortable with it all the time, in fact downright folksy with it:)

It's a baby what?

Image via Wikipedia

It's a baby, I think or maybe not. It's kind of green and very small. It was captured by a friend as a very special gift for me. I don't know if it's a male or a female. (I probably should have two? Will he/she die of loneliness and fear tonight? I hope not!)

I've released it in a very damp area of the flower garden, with water, bugs and shelter nearby. We are supposed to have some rain tonight and I really am eager for it to just hunker down and stay, perhaps attract more small creatures like itself. I don't know - what do you know about little TREE FROGS??? (And please no lectures about importing foreign species, he/she/it was already living in Walla Walla:)) If I discover it's really bad for the environment, I'll just put up a sign that only the crows and magpies can read.......

Why would a friend give me a little tree frog? Well, because I really wanted one, of course, and besides doesn't every mature, intelligent, lovely, down-to-earth female gardener want a few little frogs of her own?

Have you ever wanted something that seemed totally out of character for you to have? Have you ever told someone else of that wish, never dreaming they would take you seriously, and/or have you just proceeded to find it on your own? Come on, I would love to hear of that special something you "gifted" yourself that no one else would have thought of finding for you!


Photo - no, that's not THE frog - just someone that looks like mine:)

New, Good, Better and Best

Image by Getty Images for 20th Century Fo via Daylife

Having recently watched "Bride Wars", (stars - Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway), a thought that had been percolating for a while began to take shape in my head. The movie is a cute, sometimes hilarious, sometimes pathetic story of two life-long friends being torn asunder by their similar wedding fantasies. With a scheduling snafu in the wedding planner's office, requiring one of the engaged to yield the cherished date and venue, the life-long friends become selfish, battling, first rate enemies!

The characters engage in petty squabbling, stooping to do most anything to keep the best friend's wedding experience unpleasant while at the same time striving to arrange every possible detail for their own perfect day. The underlying theme in question would seem to be the competing bridezillas and their personal self-absorption - viewed in a comic light - rather entertaining.

Upon reflection, as I have been internally analyzing this "friend thing" lately, my question is why two young women see fit to throw away the sanctity of a lifelong friendship in favor of their own means to an end - the perfect wedding day? When does someone deemed a friend become tagged as new, good, better, or best friend? What is it with those categorizations?

There are persons I've met who just "feel" right to me from the first moment - upon sharing, I've had similar experiences as they, both good and bad, I might admire their ease in social settings, or be drawn to them by their outer trappings of dress or hairstyle, or for the fact that we quickly discover similar marriage and birthing patterns in our lives. Those persons might be labeled in all four categories - "new, good, better, best." But where is it that friendship is really born into a category beyond acquaintance, new, better, or best?

I greet the post office clerk, the grocery checker, the bank teller, the board member, persons in church, etc. perhaps each week or several times in a week. I smile, converse a little, perhaps notice physical changes or demeanors. Are these people my friends - I certainly wouldn't categorize them as enemies....maybe just acquaintances? On the other hand, persons I've literally known for years, greeting, visiting, commiserating and departing but with no real sense of an established friendship. Always something held back with no eagerness to establish further ties. Once more, they're not enemies, just not friends.

Then there are those who I've known for a short time, cherish immediately, and strive for connection and similarities without even realizing that striving. When do these relationships go from "new" to "best?" For me, it may be when adversity strikes a blow to that special person I've met. I can feel sorry for an enemy or an acquaintance, even pray or wish for their well being, but the "reaching out" for a person through adversity is where I believe the initiation of true friendship may be born. It's when I find myself yearning to comfort them in a personal loss, reaching out to them with a word, a small gift, a particular email message, or even that perfect snail-mail Hallmark sympathy card. For me, I think there's something about the need to reach out in love that tips the balance from acquaintance, to new, to good, better and maybe even best!

Does any of this pondering ring true with you? If so, where do you experience that good, better, best connection of friendship?

Creative Blogger Award

I'm pleased to post this nice site award today! It came to me from blogger author - Christine over at Abbey of the Arts. I've had the pleasure to meet her in person and to have been a participant in one of her amazing spirituality workshops. I highly recommend her workshops and her site!

As I said, Christine sent the award along with some rules I'm observing to pass this award along to some of my favorite sites -

List 7 things that I love and then pass the award on to 7 other bloggers - tagging them and letting them know they've won this award! If you'd like, you may copy the picture of the award and place it on your sidebar.

Seven Things I Love:
1. Sleeping in a bed outfitted with a yummy feather comforter and choices of firm, medium, soft, squishy pillows
2. Waking up without an alarm clock
3. Hearing an owl hooting at dusk or early dawn, or a "lookout" quail's call to the hen and her chicks that all is clear, or the close-up exhalation of a giant humpback whale
4. Feeling touch and hearing the sound made by breeze in the palm trees on an island
5. Walking a labyrinth
6. Meditating in the a.m. until I feel just the "being"
7. Viewing visual art in person in museums, in galleries, in studios, and even online

My Selection of Seven Creative Bloggers:
Unlike Christine's selection, I am not able to limit my 7 blogger selections to only those bloggers with whom I've had face to face contact - far from it - most of you I've never met anyplace except online; a couple of Christine's favorites are mine as well and sites I never miss*, but I'm not counting them in my seven today.......not in any particular preferential order, they are -

Karen at Art in the Garage for her artistic site of mixed media presentations; my favorites - her female portraits - each with personality and distinctly Karen's work.

Katherine at TreffingerDaily for her beautiful small and large masterpieces. Not having met Katherine in person, I have met her artwork and it is exceptional. She gives her readers a bit of bio on each piece she exhibits on her site.

Jan at A Church for Starving Artists - always beautifully crafted and clever words about the Gospel and/or daily living. She credits her posts to many persons, not the least of these being Jesus, and other less heavenly celebs!

Misty Mawn - a gifted artist and admired teacher, Misty's work is exciting to see "in progress" and captivating in its presentation. You'll find poetry, family tales, photos, drawings, and weekly or monthly challenges to accept or just admire on Flickr as the entries come in. This vignette of family life was just too good for me to forget - the title and photo still make me giggle - read the post and smile!

Albina at Out of Hands - oh, the work I find here justs gives me goose bumps some days - visually rich in color and content.

Susanna's Sketchbook - content, photos, drawings, the wings project - creative, creative! I always get a visual lift on this site.

Country Parson considers himself quite the curmudgeon - some days I agree, some days I think he's just a darned good preacher. He always challenges my mind whether the subject is theology, the current economic status, land use, anti-discrimination, or the Book of Amos. He's one of the few men bloggers that I regularly read. I would like to find more male bloggers with good content - I'm not saying they're not there, I just haven't stumbled onto their sites.

*Diamonds in the Sky with Lucy, Barefoot Toward the Light, Anchors and Masts, Lucy Creates,
The Painted Prayerbook

Souls - who has one?

With apologies to Riley and Andy, I encountered a cute little doggie this week on Maui who seemed, in these photos, to be contemplating his shadow......his soul? "Hey who are you, and why do you keep following me?"

"Hey, hey, stop movin' - I'm talkin' to you!"

Sweet animals we tame and call pets - they bring us joy, teach us patience, bring us tears and laughter, and give us unsurpassed love; lastly they wait and wait and wait until we decide we want them to pay attention to us! Now, don't you think a being of that nature has a soul? Or, o.k. it's a leap in Lent...........that pets in "their waiting for us" are a lot like God by our sides?

Think about it!

Goofy or Eccentric?

My spouse and I have an occasional discussion of adjectives when one or both of us labels the other - strange. I'll say, "Not strange - maybe goofy?" He says, "Too harsh, let's go for eccentric!" Actually he termed us eccentric one day when I asked the question about who we really knew to be eccentric? "Us!" he declared. I don't know about the "us" part, I mean, we often have very different opinions about what constitutes goofy and/or eccentric, so maybe we're neither.

I mean what are the strange or unusual habits or things in your household - even if you are only a household of person and pet - goofy or eccentric? Any of your habits mimic ours?

*We seldom speak, even when passing in our own kitchen, prior to coffee, and morning prayer - one of us may deny this habit, but it is definitely so -
*One of us prefers separate bathrooms -
*One of us NEVER, EVER leaves the house prior to full bathing, primping, etc. -
*We prefer walls full of art rather than knick knacks on tables -
*We prefer contemporary abstract art to traditional landscape or still life -
*We often shop for art on holiday in cities other than our own -
*We seldom buy art prior to researching the artist's bio -
*We enjoy buying a piece of art just prior to an artist becoming "famous" -
*One of us enjoys designer or brand name clothes -
*One of us enjoys non-designer everything -
*One of us always has a twenty dollar bill on hand, the other never has a clue what's on hand -
*One of us insists that two gallons of gas in the car is plenty to get us home or to the store -
*One of us believes the car not clean until the inside windows are shined and the floor mats vacuumed -
*One of us believes that two dogs are plenty -
*One of us believes there's always room for one more -
*One of us believes that we'll never move again -
*One of us believes one should never say never -
*One of us believes that buying one of any item in the grocery store is plenty -
*One of us believes that you're already at the store, why not stock up -
*Neither of us would drive across town for a bargain -
*Neither of us has a Costco card -
*Both of us think we're out of toilet paper or paper towels if we're down to the last 3 rolls -
*One of us thinks we should hire a lawn service -
*One of us has actually mentioned buying a lawn mower -
*Both of us would rather have brown grass than chemical fertilizer -
*Both of us are comfortable with dogs in the kitchen -
*Both of us are uncomfortable with the idea of a restaurant that would allow that -
*Both of us believe babies should be in church with their parents -
*Both of us believe that women and men make fine priests in any denomination -
*Both of us believe in the Trinity -
*Both of us believe in true love -
*Both of us have found it -
*Both of us are enjoying retirement -
*Both of us are going to be the same chronological age today - Happy Birthday to one of us!

The verdict - goofy, eccentric - where do your habits place you?

Photo - Sunset on Maui

Found objects and memories and Tillich*

I find making new women friends face-to-face and blogger friends online, that many of us are gatherers - we like picking up shells, stones, twigs, branches, sea glass, and tiny bits of unknown treasure in forest or ocean side. I also notice that certain retail stores have, over the years, marketed to us the same items that we enjoy picking up off the ground ourselves. It's NOT the same is it buying from a store shelf ? No matter how pretty the glass or pebbles are in a jar, it's not the same as there's no memory attached to the collecting.

I remember walking home from school when I was probably in the second or third grades and kicking A stone all the way home or finding "diamonds" on the ground - generally the "diamonds" smashed Coca-Cola bottles that glistened just right if held in my hand for observation - they seemed like diamonds to me - like I had ever really seen a diamond at that age!? Those stones and glass bits hung around in my collection until I found they could be replaced with the next found treasure.

I was reminded of the childhood diamonds yesterday as there was a very nice "one" lying on the landing of our vacation condominium. My memory of childhood was so present that I couldn't help picking it up, turning it over, examining it and actually considering keeping it in my shorts pocket for a while. Feeling silly after not too long a time, I tossed it out the car window.....

I have a little dish on my bathroom counter at home that contains sea glass that I've collected on varying trips to Hawaii - Maui, the Big Island - in particular. When I see it there, no telling how many times a day, for just a second I am reminded of the ocean, the sand, the sunlight and of the love shared with my spouse on these getaway adventures. Most of the bits are green or brown, reminiscent, of course, of the "Buds" tossed overboard by some careless sea goer, then smashed by the waves on the shore over and over until the sand has rendered the pieces small and tumbled - smooth to the touch.

However, actually sorting through the glass bits prior to our present stay on Maui, I found quite a number of blue and white pieces in the mix and separating the colors, found a new arrangement on which to gaze until the next precious treasure batch comes in for sorting.

*FROM THEOLOGIAN PAUL TILLICH - found in The God of Second Chances/Erik Kobell - Paul Tillich once observed, God came to us in the form of a human being but can "just as easily have come in the form of a stick or a stone."

So why do you think we gather? Is it the memories only, the repetition of combing for an item - the calming affect - God's call? Do you gather and what is your most treasured gathering of late? I'd love to know.

Hmmmmm.

Photo - SS - fun on Maui

Happy Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day......

You might wonder what the photo here has to do with the greeting, well the photo reminds me of a lovely day with my beloved husband sightseeing in Portland, OR.

We don't save romance until Valentine's Day rather we take advantage of it whenever we have the chance.....unexpected worship service in an old Lutheran Church in a city neighborhood we found while searching for an art museum, later a stroll through the museum, lunch in its cafe, sharing of our personal opinions about the art, the history, the museum, the day; for two people who see each other every day, we still have a lot to say and share about some things, about everything, about nothing.

For us, Valentine's Day and the love it represents comes much more often than once a year!

Plan to share your love with someone today
whether sweetheart, friend, stranger, or brother
Give it your all with no thought or bother
and surprisingly catch it when returned from the other
xoxoxox

Oh, excuse the corny poem - it's as good as a Hallmark Card don't you think?:)

Photo covertly taken by SS in Portland Museum of Art/Frank Stella work

"To turn and put away"

Meaningful words I read during morning prayers this week. Words that I tried to carry with me each day this week....words that remain meaningful to me this Sunday a.m.

"....to turn aside from controversy and put away heavy loads of judgment and censorship and criticism and the whole burden of opinions that I have no obligation to carry."

Have a wonderful day and may the burden of unnecessary opinions be lifted from your heart and mind!


Quote from Thomas Merton A Book of Hours

Human Sacrifice?

Yesterday, after church, I was lolling inside from the snowy days outdoors and giving myself permission to linger over favorite blogsites. One of those favorites is "The Painted Prayerbook". Always rich with visual works and thoughtfully constructed spiritual words, I came upon this phrase of Jan's that really smacked me!

"I wonder if the people of Israel ever wondered if human sacrifice might be easier, after all, than all this justice and kindness stuff."

In light of that sentence.....you know, I know, we all know that the economics of our current day aren't terrific and that hard decisions need to be made at times regarding employment vs. non-employment, firing versus hiring. These are neither welcomed nor easy decisions that must more and more often these days be pondered.

Listening to an NPR interview last week, I heard the interviewer asking persons on the street, or the studio, or wherever, whether given a choice of losing one's colleagues' or saving one's colleagues' salaries with cuts being absorbed by all - what would you do?

Several people never hesitated and stated although they would not like to take a cut in pay that if it meant saving jobs for more of their colleagues in these hard times, they would definitely consider a paycut worth the sacrifice. I thought that was a wonderful thing to hear......until a gentleman given that question said, "absolutely not, firings just cut the dead wood out of an organization and they probably weren't contributing that much anyway. No, he would not like or would not like being asked to consider taking a paycut!"

Arghhhhh, so what do hard decisions, firings, cutbacks, pink slips and the like have to do with human sacrifice? The human sacifice, it seems to me, comes about when persons making decisions hastily, without pondering justice and kindness beforehand make a decision(s) that clearly exhibits callousness toward another human being, whether friend, confidante, employee or colleague. Regrettably it is sometimes necessary to announce layoffs due to financial crises, and/or lack of competence but, I believe, it is not in God's plan that decisions should be cruel or announced in a way to impute job performance issues when there were not such.

Selfishness, greed, and lack of respect for one's fellow persons being laid off also falls outside the realm of justice and kindness. Being let go in a public arena, meaning not being told privately of the issues causing the layoff/firing, is humiliating at best, cruel at most.

So in some cases, I would say for some persons, human sacrifice is not only unquestionable but preferable with justice and kindness having really nothing to do with any thing.

I repeat, argggghhhhh - oh, and just yesterday I was blogging about not passing judgment on my fellow human beings......I've guess I've flunked again!

Why do I blog?

People often ask me why do I blog? Even when I've explained that I find it a tremendous creative outlet, the design, the content, the re-design, the richness of writing and reading posts and comments, the relationships that are formed with like-minded, or sometimes not so like-minded strangers who become friends and confidantes because they have the interest to read and listen to someone else's words and opinions - comments sometimes happy, sometimes not so, sometimes subjects of faith, religion, craft, children, weather, pets, spouses, vacations, deaths, exercise, artwork, collaging, photography, all sorts of mixed media interaction - even after I've told them all of that, there often comes a somewhat flat and disinterested, "oh."

I've learned that it is impossible to explain what this daily interaction means in my life. I am so happy when a few words come back in response to something I've written, or drawn, or painted. I' m enthusiastic with my praise and interest of other bloggers as I know what those comments mean to me. And besides it is absolutely mind-boggling to be a part of the gifts that other humans bring to each other's lives!

Now, lest you think that I hang around and fixate over my computer, you would be wrong. I have a full and rich life that I relish every day and I find from my blogger associates, they do too! That engagement in every day life and living is extraordinary and not to be taken for granted. The excitement and enthusiasm over everyday life is what blogging is all about for me! I'm grateful to be able to share those simple, I believe, God-given moments with those who are willing to listen. And, folks that's why I blog. Why do you?

Photo SS - Book of Hours - Night pages
with Quote from Thomas Merton - Night - Now is the time to meet your God.

Did you say Myers-Briggs?

Well, too much fun, you've got to skip over to Christine Kane's post and get your blog (title only) analyzed. Yup, with just a flick of your fingers your blog is analyzed . Doesn't even need to edit anything - up it comes. Knowing how we all love these pop-ups, give it a go:) Here's what Typealyzer said about DWMINDSIEVE -

My blog analysis indicates that the author is of the type: ISFP - The Artists
The gentle and compassionate type. They are especially attuned to their inner values and what other people need. They are not friends of many words and tend to take the worries of the world on their shoulders. They tend to follow the path of least resistance and have to look out not to be taken advantage of.

They often prefer working quietly, behind the scene as a part of a team. They tend to value their friends and family above what they do for a living.

Note: writing style on a blog may have little or nothing to do with a person´s self-percieved personality.

Photo - Walla Walla's finest - has nothing to do with this blog's personality or does it?

P.S. My MB personality type? - ENTJ

Why, what, how long do we mourn? Part II

April 15, 1912 The Oceanliner Titanic sinks and 1500 persons perish.
The first movie about the sinking of the Titanic, released in 1958, was a black and white movie - A Night to Remember. I was in highschool and blubbered like a baby while watching the movie. I've never forgotten it. I've not seen the 1997 film of the ship's fate. From viewing previews only, the '97 movie with all its glamour and hype seems to take the tragedy and turn it into something perhaps more glamorous than tragic.

I know the event occurred; yet I no longer have a lump in my throat when I recall it, even though upon recollection, I still mourn that loss. Perhaps above the mourning, the fear captures my memory refusing to let it slip away......having stepped aboard a couple of cruise ships within the past 20 years, I easily relate to the vast ocean of cold, unforgiving water and ice - even in the Caribbean? Well, more clearly in the Inland Passage to Glacier Bay.

December 7, 1941 The Japanese attack Pearl Harbor 2400 persons lost.
Pearl Harbor attack - I was yet unborn but my parents must have certainly mourned America's losses that day; though I never remember hearing them ever speak of it. I suppose school history was my first real exposure to PH.
The 1970 movie Tora, Tora, Tora, with a 2001 movie entitled simply, Pearl Harbor, I've had no desire to see either movie. Spinning a tale around such a tragic event? Not a story I wished to see glamorized on the screen. (If I had seen one of the movies, I suspect that the "wound" and the story it was to me was cauterized enough by 1970 to have allowed me to sit in a movie theater without being reduced to sobbing.) More chilling for me to see currently, however, are the old news clips that capture some of the attack and the devastating aftermath of lost life and destruction - to see the real life later sky battles of "our" fighter planes shooting down "their" fighter planes - wow, we get to see someone actually die in those clips, real life revenge of us against them. Those are scenes that bring me deep sorrow - I avoid them during national Veteran's Day moviefests programmed on non-stop weekend television.

June 6, 1944 D-Day The Invasion of Normandy, untolled death and destruction
Up until really the last few years, we've actually had survivors in my town of this event. I believe they did not much enjoy speaking of their service, only grateful for their survival, and grateful to their comrades having given their lives beside those who did manage to survive. Somehow I could watch news clips of those days' events because they seemed so far away, so long ago, so unreasonable and unlikely - how could that have really happened? In this instance a movie did catch me unexpectedly by the throat and make the mystery and sacrifice of human life explicitly real. I watched the epic first 24 minutes of Spielberg's Saving Private Ryan. In my own living room, I had to mute the sound - it was so terrifying. After witnessing that half hour portrayal of the landing at Normandy I knew the tragedy of war. I knew the loss of friends. I knew the loss of mankind! The pain and portrayal was not glamorized, it was all too real. I did not guess what it meant to lose a loved one, I froze inside against the terrible angst of such an event! Yet, still I had the monitoring of a mute and off switch - it was long ago - it was over for me and for all of those who had managed to survive. But the memory for me of just 24 minutes of reenacted battle was unimaginable - those survivors....how could they possibly want to recall a memory that I'm sure filled a large section of their memory bank.


September 11, 2001 Terrorists highjack American planes attacking/killing over 3000 persons.
But then September 11, 2001, came - we could not look away. We could not turn the dial. We could not escape the media. We were hypnotized, terrorized, traumatized. It was not a movie, it was not history, it was not long ago, it was us and our friends and our families who were on the planes, in the buildings, fighting the fires, trapped in the stairwells. I cried and cried and cried and even as I write, the tears and the terror are real. The movies - there have already been a couple of weak attempts to I suppose tell, or capitalize on the event. I could not have been dragged or paid to watch such movies. I don't know that as an old woman I will be able to watch a "made for tv" or for MP3 player or heaven knows what communication toys we will have then, with my grandchildren or great grandchildren. I lived at the time of this event. It was too real for me. Did I watch it? Yes. Will I be able to relive it without deep anguish, I think not ever.

But my grandchildren and great grandchildren, they will undoubtedly have their own ultimate nightmare of some savage act of inhumanity. They will be able to look at September 11, 2001, and say we were fortunate that more persons were not killed......will that be true? When do we become used to violent death and dying and just avoid watching it in some kind of portrayal or in real life media?
War goes on every day. Someone's loved ones are dying. Are we glad they are not our loved ones - yes? Are we glad they are someone else's loved ones - no?

Have I become maudlin, cynical, realistic, fatalistic in my old age or was my brain just untangling a bit yesterday and today by summoning up memories that might be better forgotten? Or better still, maybe remembered?

Why, what, how long do we mourn?

On November 13 here on MindSieve, my posted comments had to do with the hard won freedoms that we enjoy and often take for granted in the United States. You may quickly reread the post if you'd like but my conclusion was that the losses felt by families who have lost their "own" in war or service to their fellow persons are losses that should be felt and shared by us all....not an easy goal feeling a personal loss by only reading or listening to stories or seeing movies about great tragedies of our time.

The words of that post, still swirling around a bit in my brain, have drawn me to four specific tragedies that feel (as two are) relevant to my generation - #1 brought to my attention as a teenager, #2 occurred the year prior to my birth, #3 when I was about 18 months old and #4 having occurred in the current decade. They may seem random to you as they do to me. When these four came up on my brain's "radarscope" I was surprised at the specific assortment and also drawn into many more tragedies that I have mourned such as John F. Kennedy, Robert Kennedy and Martin Luther King’s assassinations, the Pan Am 103 explosion over Lockerbie, the 1998 Air France Concorde SST tragedy in France.

Whatever age you are, I suspect you will have some feeling or memory of how you felt the first time these stories were told to you or that you witnessed them in real time....which would mean your own lifetime's memory specifically would be of the September 11, 2001, events.

This post has turned into an unexpectedly long narration and I bid you rejoin it tomorrow……

Happy Halloween

What Your Love of Snickers Says About You

You are a very popular person. People can always find something about you to like. You are friendly and approachable. It's easy to feel comfortable around you. You are lively, playful, and sweet. But you are also substantial too. No matter what the situation is, you are good company... and the ideal best friend.

What Does Your Favorite Candy Say About You?

Old Business Cards -

So, yesterday's post, in consideration of Fall's arrival and my seasonal drawer/closet purge, there were lists labeled - GOING, SHOULD BE GOING - NOT YET, and GONE AND REGRETTING - lists of items fitting into neat categories - items currently headed out and those long gone or way too old to keep.

That post actually began "brain percolating" in my office closet. Although that was where the post began its birthing, I never made it back to the initial premise until now.

One of the treasures I came upon in my urge for order, among letterhead and envelopes printed with out-of-date logos, staples, paper clips, blank binders - you get the picture - there was an almost full box of - tadah - business cards emblazoned with information telling the world all about me......but I'm retired now. Wouldn't you expect those business cards to immediately hit the recyle bin?

Those little cards told everyone WHO I was - right? The company that employed me was prominent on the card, a prestigious firm, my department tagline with description words like "talent" and "success", my name - mandatory for a business card - my job title and contact information, address, phone, fax, e-mail, cellphone - wow, all sorts of ways to contact ME - whoopee! Wow, that card made me look important - is that why there was a moment of hesitation before pitching them? Was my identity now gone? Was I truly gone when the cards hit the bin?

Well, you say, of course not! You must now have one of those corny cards that you're asked to produce even more frequently than you ever did your official business card. Red, white and blue, contains your name WITH an initial you probably "never" used but the government thinks is necessary to your true identity, your social security number in plain site - for heaven's sake, even though one is supposed to memorize that number, chew and swallow and refuse to relinquish it on pain of it being your fault that someone stole your identity....whoops....a little carried away with the new red, white and blue card!

So the business, scratch business.....calling card I have and prefer over the red, white and blue one is the new cream colored one with lovely purple, script font featuring my name (no middle initial), address, phone and e-mail. My spouse produced this for me in order to label luggage or whatever with it. Quite uncluttered and efficient - but now I'm wondering what descriptors or labels would I be most pleased to see on that card if I decided to label myself?

For consideration -

Devoted to the practice of Christianity
Loving Mother, Stepmother, Spouse, Sister
Dedicated Episcopalian
Trustworthy Friend
Entertaining Blogger
Talented Artist
Thoughtful, inquisitive, passionate member of the mostly human race

What about you? We all know the value of those "in the job market" business cards, but what might your secondary card put forth to the world? Any thoughts out there? If you could only use ONE word - you don't have to tell me but consider for yourself, what would that be? And give me a list if you feel like it:)

Hard to throw away.....

It's feeling like Fall to me and that generally sends me into closets and drawers to inspect what items I can truly live without as well as those which I know "should" go but which I find just too hard to throw away - yet!

Sadly, during this purging, I often pause for a moment in order to reflect upon those things which I trashed and regretted parting with, later on. Maybe you would like to do a little mental housekeeping of your spaces.....what's gone, what should be, what do you regret not possessing any longer? What is just too hard to throw away?

My lists - Going; Should be going - not yet; Gone and regretting -

GOING - very clean, seldom worn undergarments - bought thinking they fit, looked great, didn't, didn't! My recognition, that there are people in this world who have none of what we consider essentials, has overcome my embarrassment at donating such items rather than yielding to my sense of guilt about pitching them in the trash. The same issue with fashion items such as scarves, belts, handbags.

Souvenir tee shirts nearly brand new - what makes us buy those in the first place? What looks good on a vacation beach seldom looks that great when worn at home to the grocery store.

Shoes - unscuffed soles - did I really think the size would stretch just because I liked the color or style? .....never having felt even a teensy bit better - maybe I should lose weight in my feet! (Think that could be a new diet trend?)


SHOULD BE GOING - NOT YET - the last size down from the one I'm wearing now, I just know I'll fit in that again soon....5 years - is that a reasonable waiting period? A honeymoon outfit - was I EVER that small? - I'm keeping that one, don't ask why!! A wedding gift trivet in the shape of a butterfly - I think I'm going to part with this one as I just keep moving it from one space to another, storing it, never planning to use it. A thrift shop buyer would love stumbling on that treasure!

GONE AND REGRETTING - Although I've seldom really anguished over a piece of clothing being rejected, I do regret parting with items that belonged to my kids - all adults now, of course.

My oldest daughter's most favorite baby doll, I mean the head was almost severed from the body - I did NOT know she wanted that kept forever. That is one regret accompanied by lots of tears! A large pair of Raggedy Ann and Andy dolls - I can still see the look on those doll faces and the lump in my throat when I tossed them at the dump - I don't know WHY I thought I had to pitch those two!

My son's "binky" - did he ever have an attachment to one particular item? I still have a baby sweater of his.

Our next oldest daughter - after she had been asked to clean her room of items staying or going - I pitched a favorite "binky" blanket and pair of painted on, yes, covered with splotches, sneakers. I was mistaken in the stay/go pile - oh, I heard about that! Argh! And felt really crummy about it also!

Our youngest - well, you know, I can't remember an exact item although I bet if she reads this she could name it! We still do have a bedspread comforter that goes on picnics with us occasionally, although I don't believe she would think it a great loss if she never saw it again.

My heart aches quite a bit over some of the items that went out the door in the Salvation Army truck after my Mother died. I recently saw a set of salt and pepper shakers that were replicas of one of those sets and I nearly paid an exorbitant price to reconnect with that memory - and I guess that's what this post is all about. The memories of an item, its time, its place, the history connected to the item is what makes it so hard to let go. The value is not in the cost but in the place that those items fill in heart and memory, just too hard to throw away.

So, do you have those short or long lists in actuality or just in your head? Do you have clean, tidy drawers and closets? Well, whether yeah or nay, I wish you some good results on items just too hard to throw away and few regrets on mistakenly discarded ones.....remembering many of us make silly errors in the name of speed, efficiency, and stiff upper lips. Happy closet reminiscing.

What do I think about poverty?

I find, in reality, that I don't think nearly enough about poverty or about who is affected by it or how one feels about being cold, hungry, thirsty, or homeless. I am not proud to say those words but the reality of being comfortable, well-fed and in a loving home coats me with a veneer of denial, dimming my vision towards those who do not have the same advantages that have come my way in life......accident of birthplace, parents, economic times, the benefit of education, strong body and mind, etc.

Then again, perhaps because of the those accidents of my being in this world, I do think about poverty a lot....when I throw away a mushy apple or brown banana, when I peel something and put the scraps down the garbage disposal, when I run the water too long while brushing my teeth, or flush every single time I near a toilet, when I find recyleable items have made it into the trash bin rather than in to the recyle bin, when I relegate an item to the rag bag after a few seasons of wearing. Yes, I think about poverty during those times and then in addition to prayers of thanksgiving, I offer prayers of intercession for those persons I may not know who find themselves in circumstances of which they had no hand in making. I think about the ONE campaign, about Episcopal Relief and Development and about St. Vincent DePaul's Catholic Charities and the myriad organizations that are mobilized to bring poverty to an end. I think about those volunteers who are making a difference in our world and I contribute to them and their organizations.

Someone reading my words might think I'm just an environmentalist rather than one who is supposed to be espousing words about poverty on this National Blogging Day re Poverty. But isn't the waste of our planet the issue that will drive all mankind to poverty and ultimately to madness and destruction? There are too many of us hoarding and misusing finite resources, along with NOT planning to change our habits or claim personal culpability for others' survival or lack thereof.

Am I one of those "too many of us" hoarding, etc." - are you? Do we want to change our habits for the safety of our world and neighbors' lives? Will we? When - sometime/ maybe/never?