Silence, waiting, Advent

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Participating in an online Advent season program, last week I found myself suffocating in an avalanche of directions, music, activities, participant email comments, artwork, etc.,  until I suddenly threw on the brakes and realized that my over-achiever button was apparently clicked into the on position!  Taking a deep breath I re-evaluated the instructions for participation and of course, as the program designers would have it - there was a plethora of tools for one's personal path through Advent - the plethora not meant to drown but to offer the participant a menu of life savers designed to SLOW down the season NOT complicate it.  Once I clicked the proper settings on the site and settled down to the activity each day that was most comfortable for me, I found the silence and my mind at work in that silence to be a connector to the season rather than a detractor!

How silly it is that in my efforts to be silent, to await the coming of Christ, I would allow so many different directions to pull my actions away from rather than toward the season.  For the remaining days of Advent, I plan to keep my crazy, control freak button switched off and my reflective, listening buttons clicked on.  Clicked on to the reason for the season, the blessed celebration of the arrival of Jesus into the world as we know it on earth.

You, are your buttons and your gears all placed on fast forward, rush, excelerate, can't stop position?  I hope not, but just in case, take a deep breath and realize that some things can wait, some things don't have to happen.  Waiting in silence, in hopefulness, in reassurance - what a nicer mode of operation in which to welcome the Christ Child.

Happy Advent!

Do I take God for granted?

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Reading a couple of emails from friends the last few days has set me to wondering - do I take God for granted?  

My personal question is prompted by the messages I've received regarding someone's attempt to endorse the validity of Holy Scripture, to once more - PROVE - that the Holy Bible is accurate in its stories of God's wonder and power.  I read the messages with some interest but mostly I read them out of respect for the sender's sincerity in sharing the words with me.  The messages prove nothing to me - they're just stories that someone has made up OR proven, OR tested that makes them "right" in some way in their own personal beliefs about "the" Word.

So, do I take God for granted?  Or maybe it's the word faith that I should insert in my question rather than the word God - do I take my faith for granted?  Perhaps I do in that I find it unimaginable that anyone could prove to me that there is a God or is NOT a God.  I BELIEVE in GOD - there's no changing my mind.  Without literally accepting the Bible's creation stories, I wholly believe in God's existence and creation.  I wholly believe in God's power to move in my life, to draw me to the wisdom portrayed in Jesus' life and teachings - again, not necessarily believing that every word I read in Holy Scripture was transcribed by a heavenly stenographer from God's lips into the quills of human scribes.  I love the story of Noah, yet I don't have to believe that Noah built the ark and left all mankind behind to die; yet, I understand a  message to me about the importance of exclusive worship, honor and dedication to my Creator.

I can believe in the story of Jesus' Mother, of his Divine Birth, of the hardness of the circumstances of his birth without believing that there was a little drummer boy present - I know, I know, the drummer boy is not in Holy Scripture.  But the details of three (not 4, not 2 but three) wise men, shepherds, angels - I don't need to know the details - in the Bible's written word - they are lovely, they speak to me of the preciousness of the gift of my Savior.  It matters not to me that the story is told again and again in different versions, in different languages, in different understandings.  The literalness is not a cause for me to prove someone else wrong if they choose to believe the exact words and argue with me that I'm wrong in NOT believing the exact words.

Taking for granted my faith in God is to say that when I pray (and when I don't) I believe God is always there, always ready, always loving, always coaxing me towards his love, resurrection, redemption; always giving me opportunities, encouragement and discouragement in the daily decisons I'm drawn to make.

So perhaps my question could be restated another way...........my faith is something I take for granted, in that I believe there is a Creator, a Receiver, a Giver, a Lover to whom I owe my existence, to whom I choose to worship and to whom I dedicate myself to a living relationship of honor, worship, praise and prayer. 

And you?  Do you need to believe that the Holy Bible is the inerrant text from God?  Do you need to believe that another's faith is weak if they do not believe in that inerrancy?  Well, in the same way I read the emails of inerrancy or proof out of respect for my friends, I appreciate your reading this post today out of respect for my beliefs and writings.  Thank you and may the God that we both share in our lives bless you, keep you, and continue to be there for you for all eternity! 

Advent Posings

I've found in my worship life that "taking on" a project, assignment, task, discipline for a season or for a period of days/weeks, etc. is a way for me to stay - in the words of the Avent season - AWAKE!  So this Advent Season my thoughts and actions are narrowed from the worldwide communion to a few hundred folks online for the season of Advent.

In pursuit of the daily discipline I opened an email yesterday suggesting a worship outline of music, listening for God's words in silence, composition of a blessing and questioning myself in regard to "Where in my life do I want to breathe more deeply?"

Breathing more deeply in order to be present in the moment, in the now of my life.  Breathing more deeply to recognize the mere act of inhaling and exhaling that I so take for granted - the gift given to me at birth, or maybe at inception?  At any rate, in reflection upon "breathing more deeply" these words came from my fountain pen to the journal

I pray for an awareness of the breath entering my left brain

For the recognition of clean, fresh breath focusing my left brain logic, all the while allowing that logic to overflow and infuse its power in to the creative, sometimes jumbled right brain

For the breath in the right side of my brain to feed my imagining and an explosive creativity of written words, along with tangible created collage images

I ask my breath to work through the tangles of left and right brains - smoothing, making/allowing/ forging new pathways/connections

Finally, connections of my breath, heart, soul and hands - coming together in tangible expressions of God's glory in my artist's heart

 *New collage in progress

Ads and Advent

Image by Per Ola Wiberg ~ Powi via Flickr

Being away from the MindSieve for nearly 2 months now, it's a bit daunting to return, yet the decision has been made and you'll note by my new headline quote, I'm expecting the universe's cooperation in validating my decision.

Three plugs from me today -

1. For quality of life, decision making, personal empowerment and by the way - weight loss, click on the Tonya Leigh link in the right hand column of the MindSieve site - an amazing young talent you won't want to miss!

2. Looking or not for a place certain to draw your mind and heart into the upcoming Advent and Christmas season, please click on the link provided here for - 

Birthing the Holy: A Creative Online Journey through Advent and Christmas (11/28 thru 1/9/11)

3. Holiday shopping made easy - click here:
Episcopal Relief and Development
Mercy Corps 

See you tomorrow with more thoughts about these tips!

It's that stewardship thing again

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In the 4th Thursday of Advent, one of the readings is I Samuel 1:24-28, describing Hannah's rejoicing in the birth of her child and of his weaning; whereupon she took him to the temple along with sacrifices and offerings - giving thanks for the blessing of his birth and her vow to dedicate his life and service to the Lord.

Ever thankful for what the Lord had bestowed upon her, she was bound to give back in kind. It's that stewardship thing again. I guess in Advents past I have never noticed the strong stewardship theme. I expect it's been there all along but that window or eye has been open for me this season.

How about you this Advent season or if you don't celebrate Advent, how about just this season of the year in relation to the holiday that you and your family or just you may be honoring? Any new insites? Would love to hear them but also I realize the time is packed with so many chores, and fun, and events that I may not receive any answers or even any readers - matters not - have a wonderful holiday season and know that in God's time you have read this before the holiday even began...........ponder that.

Yes, I would still believe

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My Monday and Tuesday posts this week were a reflection of a somber and questioning couple of days for me. I'm not often visited by depression and don't recognize it quickly - perhaps that's true of all who suffer depression, I don't know - but the blanket of sadness reflected in lives that have touched me since Thanksgiving Day has been palpable.

My Quiet Day at church on Saturday was the simmering pot that brought the issues of God's presence in my life and the lives of others to a full boil in Monday and Tuesday's posts. Yesterday afternoon after brief conversation with a local non-profit organization's executive director about tragedy and hope, followed up by a spiritual growth gathering of friends I treasure, I was struck by an "aha" moment to my question of would I believe if nothing but tragedy entered my life on a regular basis?

I feel silly even thinking that my depression kept me from this realization - of course, yes I would still believe for I do not believe God plagues us with tragedy; the Creator is not the vengeful finger of fate that brings floods, tsunamis, battering, abuse, starvation and illness to this world. God is the creator of all yet has placed the stewardship of this creation in the hands of humankind. We tinker with the environment (yes, I believe the polar icecaps are melting), we introduce selfishness, greed, lust, and evil into our own lives and when these lives of ours are touched by tragedy, for me there is only ONE place to turn for comfort and that is to return to my Creator with broken-heart, confused and muddled mind, teary eyes and lumpy throat. I do worship and believe in the God of goodness and compassion.

Does this make sense to you? Do you need to remember the compassion of God's walk alongside you during what may be dark days for you or for those you love -or just encounter- in this Advent season? For me it seems to be a case of the light peeping in, wanting to pervade my soul, my life, my activities with the full brightness of God's love. Advent is the season of light, let me remember to make it so!

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Saints - as in Nicholas

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Last Sunday evening December 6, the second Sunday in Advent and Feast of St. Nicholas, I opened my Advent selection and read a history of the Feast accompanied by a lovely prayer at the end of the reading. I thought you might enjoy praying this today on the third Sunday in Advent.

Keep ever before our eyes the image of Nicholas and all the saints. Stir us to more daringly follow them in following you, so that, in abandoning all that stands in the way of greatness, we may in abandonment discover life abundant. Forgive us, we plead, our petty excuses for not being saints. Your love for them was no greater than your love for us. Your sustaining presence to them and in them is your sustaining presence to us and in us. You are for us, as you were for them, "Emmanuel, God with us."

From the deepest depth of our hearts, we cry to you, O Lord. No more excuses. Let this
Christmas be the time when, at long last, we dare to live the gift already given. Amen. Let it be

Prayer from: "God with Us - Rediscovering the Meaning of Christmas"

Am I paying attention?

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Am I paying attention? I mean does my life feel comfortable, always the same, predictable, boring, nothing new? Have I been to a movie, to a play, to a concert or performance - been to church? Have I tried a different drink in my favorite coffee shop? A different entree from my favorite restaurant? A walk home from the Y, or from the post office or from anyplace?

Have I ever found a hymn in my head in the middle of the day or heard the phone ring just before it actually did? Have I ever started singing "hey you, chitty, chitty bang bang, for no reason? (Sorry, that was mean - quick, think of another song!) Have I ever had one sock slip down on my ankle just prior to standing and walking up the aisle of a church? Have I ever forgotten my phone number or my zip code when the person at the cashier desk asked for one or the other?

Have I ever noticed the woman in front of me fumbling for coins in her purse and been annoyed that she's taking so long? Have I ever made a joke about being blind and then realized that was an inappropriate subject for joking?

Sometimes, sometimes, yes. I don't have a favorite coffee shop. Not often. Hardly ever. Yes, yes, yes, yes on both. Yes, yes. Yes. Get all that? - don't go back!!

Maybe if I was paying attention, I wouldn't feel comfortable all of the time, or ever bored, or predictable or seeking something new but rather seeking something lastingly important to the existence as a child of God. Maybe I would remember, more than just a moment, the real live people to whom I've sent the gifts of water, or a goat, or a micro-loan. Maybe thoughts of favorite coffee drinks and meals would bring to mind those without those luxuries that I perhaps sometimes consider necessities. Maybe a walk would give me a new perspective and an idea of what my Creator would like for me to see in a day.

Maybe when I forget a zipcode or a phone number of my own, I could relax and realize that's normal, not an omen of a foreboding memory disease. Maybe if I was paying attention to the woman in line fumbling with her change, I would think not that she is slow but that she is searching for the last pennies she owns to pay for that quart of milk in front of her. Maybe I should be praying for her and figuring some way to help the poor in my community. Maybe if I was paying better attention, I would not slip and think of an inappropriate comment about someone's disability or life situation.

Advent has my attention this year and is feeling like the season of self- examination, maybe that's supposed to be in Lent and not in Advent......but when I realize how the material costs of "preparing for Christmas" take over my waking hours, I can't help but think also that in "preparing for the Christ child" I should be giving more financially and personally to the lives of those who may never, ever even have a moment to consider boredom, or poverty, or God.

How about you? Are you considering anonymously "gifting" someone in some way that will improve their daily living? It seems a right and proper thing to do in this season of Advent; perhaps a more authentic activity while preparing for the birth of Christ.

How about a mosquito net or a goat?

Tonight I was going over the Christmas list, checking it twice and feeling a bit overwhelmed with trying to buy gifts for people who have so many gifts in their lives already it's unbelievable - I decided I needed a break and instead went for the small pile of accumulating bills and along with online banking took a minute to dispense with that; then I began to process the money requests from charities. In addition to and after our local gifting, one of our favorite international charities surfaced quickly - Episcopal Relief and Development.

It didn't take me long at all to realize that some of the dollars, maybe not all, but some of the dollars that would have been spent on frivolous items to be opened and tossed aside quickly, are going to be sent from us in the name of friends and family. Who cannot want to contribute to the micro-loans that give women (and men) in poor and desolate countries, the chance of a lifetime to start their small businesses, or the idea that anyone in this world is going without clean water or that children and babies are contracting malaria when a $10.00 contribution will buy them a mosquito net. I could go on but you get the picture. Isn't there some favorite charity that could use your $10.00 or $25.00 or even $100.00 contribution to make this world a better place? It probably beats the heck out of those sweater vests you're going to send your grandchildren that they'll never wear!!!

Do you have a favorite charity to which you're donating this year? I know Tess and Mary and Kigen are keen on this idea - how about you?

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Advent and our messiness

Yesterday's post was about my ability to quickly untidy a space when I'm planning or working on a project. My questions at the end of the post invited you to reassure me that I'm not the only mess maker.......some of you did that, thank you!

So, today as I opened up my companion book for the season of Advent, my eyes fell upon an underlining that I had made in the introduction section. It was this -

"Christmas forces us to deal with all the mess of our humanity in the context of God who has already entered that mess in the glorious birth of Jesus."

First off I want to make it clear that my studio space, in no way, shape or form, even at its worst, resembles the mess of our humanity. However, it does seem uncanny when I think of messes - that God loved us so much that he came amongst us in and through the birth of Jesus Christ. Came amongst us in the mess that I'm so capable of making in my life; a place where I could definitely do a better day to day job in remembering to love God and to love my neighbors as myself!

My hope and plans are to remember and to exhibit how grateful I am for the blessed Christmas season for which I prepare during Advent. My prayer is that you and I will take the time each day to offer up thanksgiving for all the good in our lives and for the courage to straighten out all our messes as quickly and as lovingly and as forgivingly as we can manage.

After all, preparing for Christmas is something other than shopping and eating.........a point I try to keep that in mind when everything just gets too crazy. I am using the same book as last year when I found it meaningful to me to practice an Advent discipline. I also plan to participate in our church's quiet day on December 12. Have you ever selected a book, or a discipline, or planned a quiet day somewhere for yourself in preparation for the celebration of the Christ child's birth? This year might be a good year to do that. I'd love to hear about your selections and how that discipline goes for you. In the meantime - Happy Advent - and prayers for keeping your season in some semblance of tidy versus messy!

Advent Begins

Image by Lawrence OP via Flickr

Author Madeleine L'Engle's poem "After Annunciation" -*

This is the irrational season
When love blooms bright and wild.
Had Mary been filled with reason
There'd have been no room for the child.

*Taken from the Introduction to the book - GOD WITH US, Rediscovering the Meaning of Christmas

**Photo - Angel Gabriel and Mary

Fourth Tuesday in Advent

I have not been disappointed by the book and by the experience that reading the book, God with Us, has given me during Advent. It is a compilation of writings from 6 different authors and has proved rich in its provisions for my Advent journey.

This a.m. the author, Kathleen Norris, had very interesting reflections based upon this poetry from Denise Levertov -

Annunciation

Aren't there annunciations
of one sort or another
in most lives?

Some unwillingly
undertake great destinies,
enact them in sullen pride,
uncomprehending.

More often those moments
when roads of light and storm
open from darkness in a man or woman,
are turned away from
in dread, in a wave of weakness, in despair
and with relief.
Ordinary lives continue.
God does not smite them.
But the gates close, the pathway vanishes.

A while after reading Ms. Norris' meditation for the day, my spouse and I chatted about the subject of Ms. Norris' reflection. We agreed that yes, God calls us all at one time or many times and if we do not answer the call God does not (generally) smite us. Sometimes the gates do close and the pathway may vanish. However, we agreed again, that the God we honor and worship although not smiting us, neither gives up on us. Our God is persistent in calling us many times - sometimes as long as "it takes" and perhaps from here to eternity.

We reflected times that we have been "called" and have accepted what seemed the obvious, gate and pathway. Who knows how many other times God has called us and we have neither heard, nor followed. How about you - are you aware of God's big calls to you and have you answered? And the little calls, how about those? Happy listening!

Photo - internet site - Religious Mall

Watching and Waiting

On fluffy snow covered branch
silhouetted against the grey sky
the falcon waits, waits, and watches
Watching for what - a mouse, a squirrel.....

Under a snow covered overpass
a stranger sits shivering in the cold
he too, waiting, waiting, watching
Waiting for what - a tossed coin or cold brown bag.....

The Creator watches - watches
both the small bird and the vagrant
unseen, unrecognized, he watches and waits
Waits for what - strangers, Samaritans, disciples......

Zephaniah? Hmmmm....

In the book I've been using in my Advent worship, God with Us, verses in Zephaniah 3:1-2, 9-13 were one of the readings for yesterday, the third Tuesday in Advent. Now, Zephaniah is not a book I flip to easily in the Old Testament; even after referencing the contents to find what page Z resided upon, I had to recheck the table of contents to find it again after I had written down this prayer. I wondered why I felt so positive about penning these words and if they had anything to do with my Z reading...........because I really could not quote or even paraphrase the verses........

Gracious God, comforter, healer, blessed in my life,
send me on tasks I do not seek, have not outlined and on which I fear to go.
Hold both my longing and anxiety in your hands.
Place strength and courage in me - so much that I step out of my path into yours.
Alert me to the markers that cross before my eyes, markers that I may feel tempted to overlook.
Let my eyes come from blurring to focusing on your vision - vision to follow the journey you've charted for my life.
I pray my mind, body and spirit will recognize your words, commands, urgings.
May I surrender to your will from now through resurrection. Amen

Did Zephaniah speak to me yesterday? Give Zephaniah a go - he might have a prayer for you also.

Advent - magic or what?

In a beautiful Advent post over at Anchors and Masts, I replied with a short comment about waiting. Rereading that comment yesterday, whilst trying to figure out where the missing author of the post is secluded, I decided I would like to share and expand my Advent thoughts here.

In preparation for the Season I selected what looked like a perfect Advent book of readings, set aside time for prayer, incorporating the book and its scripture readings into my morning worship, and then began "the wait." This first few days went by and I found myself feeling a little silly expecting “something grand and magical” to waft over me just because I'd set the stage! (Maybe I needed more props - probably a candle, I should be lighting a candle!)

Amused by myself and what my prayer receiver must be thinking about my dramatic stage set and expectation of immediate gratification - i.e., results - I realize I'm maybe not so far off track as my selfish need for the "now" might indicate.

Advent - it's the waiting season, duh! what's happening, or not, is a clear picture for me of Advent's reality. The uncertainty, the waiting, the expectation ARE the Advent story - perhaps directly related with other results oriented patterns that come into our lives. How do we handle those other patterns? Waiting for happiness, in the void acting as though we are happy and whoops, we sometimes are! Christian behavior....try acting like a Christian often enough and magic, is it(?) we become Christian. Waiting for Jesus, act as though we are, we are. Becoming aware of the waiting may produce a swifter more miraculous find than we expect - Jesus is already with us, observing the coming, reminding us of the joy that his birth has brought to our lives.

Advent - it's all about the waiting....sometimes long, sometimes boring, sometimes nothingness - but if the “awaited” is all about the birth of Christ then the long, the boring, the nothingness will be worth the wait and in the meantime, he may be found sooner rather than later! Magic or what?

How's your waiting these days?

Photo - Courtesy Religious Mall