Listening for the words

When asked "why he wrote?" Thurber replied.....

"I don't know what I think until I read what I have to say." 

For those who think they have nothing to say, who can't imagine writing a blog, a poem, even a simple letter to a friend, my encouragement is for you to write and write and write.  I think I agree with Thurber in that we might often think the muse is nowhere in sight, that we have little to say on a subject.......and yet, all that has to be done is to begin - they're there, the words are there.

Don't be afraid to listen to yourself - the listening may be from a place you never imagined or from a Creator that you've never given a thought to.  The words may only be between you and that Creator - don't be afraid to write, and most of all, don't be afraid to listen to your own words or to the words that reverberate back to you!

Photo courtesy Lucy - SS at Camp Cross - caught listening:)

Soul Collage Sunday

A simple Soul Collage card spoke out to me this week as I sat in prayer and listening.  In the language and discipline of Soul Collage* - I asked "Who are you?"

I am the child, the Christ Child

I am God, I am the Trinity

I am the new child, Child of God

confident in my ability to breathe in 

all of life's mystery

I am naked, vulnerable, loved and

unafraid

I am the one who stretches, who

flexes, who climbs to absurd, unheard

of high places

I am the one who builds strength on

the gifts you have given me

I am intentional, purpose-filled,

holiness driven

I embrace the white bird, the Holy Spirit

The blue of baptism, of rebirth, of openness

Of the vast universe surrounding me

 

 

*Soul Collage - www.soulcollage.com

SAVOR - Word of the year

- SAVOR -
TO APPRECIATE FULLY;
TO RELISH

My word for 2010

So instead of resolutions for the last couple of years, I've been going with the trend of choosing a word on which to concentrate. Being reminded of the new year over at Abbey of the Arts, my mind has been tossing about maybe half dozen words that I really wanted for myself. The words were not cooperating in that they just didn't seem to want me. Then without any provocation, while we were driving to church yesterday, the word savor just popped into my head.

Granted I had been thinking about the past year and how many new and interesting experiences with which I had been blessed, as well as how fast the year seemed to have flown by......and there it was - the word - SAVOR. I'll endeavor to remember this active verb and apply it to as many experiences as I can muster this year. It may not be your word but my wish is that you will savor the challenges, joys, and even learn from the disappointments and failures of the coming year. Now try and savor this for the day, o.k?

The cold Christmas season

Image via Wikipedia

My emotions are running high and low these last few days. The lump in my throat and the tear in my eyes simultaneously catch me unexpectedly when living into the joy of the Lord's coming, alongside the reality of today's daily events.

The paramedics pager that lives in our house (no paramedic lives here, rather a chaplain always on call) is not quiet this a.m. There is a sheet of ice on our local streets and totally iced roadways leading into town. Just now a roll-over victim has been released from an accident and is on their way to the hospital. I pray for the victim and for the paramedics who've risked their lives to venture out for rescue.

My mind lingers on the young family that lost their home to fire last week as well as a business devastated by fire. Why am I reminded so clearly NOW of the tragedy around my small town and that of the world. Certainly tragedy occurs all year long; children never stop starving or dying from malaria, nor crazed suicide bombers think not to cease their activity only continuing to claim as many innocent lives as possible, and electrical fires and kitchen fires still flare up on the coldest days of the year.

Perhaps it is the cold that brings these images so close to me in this season or maybe it is the promise or frightening aspect of God, our savior, being born into the coldness of our collective hearts; all the while attending beautiful worship services in my warm clothes and reading scripture that admonishes me to "Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord has dawned upon you."

Has it? Do I live in a way that says the glory of the Lord has dawned upon me? Do you? Should I do something and am I doing something to raise the temperature of the coldness that permeates daily lives in our cities and in our "can't avoid it/connected" world?

Seeker or Pursuer?

In my blog-tag interview responses on 2/19/09, I answered the question below as follows -

Recently you have rediscovered Thomas Merton. What does this modern monk have to teach you that speaks to your life right now? Merton’s writings about living in and appreciating the present moment mean a great deal to me, particularly in light of his early and sudden death. He wasn’t waiting for a relationship with God, he wasn’t waiting for something to make him worship, or search, or find out who he was. He went after the gift of his life with a vengeance and gave himself over to his findings. He did not expect to die young, nor to be remembered as a theologian, he just went about what he felt was his purpose in life and when he was called sooner rather than later from his mortal life, he might have been surprised but I don’t believe he was unprepared. His lessons of just “being” are very comforting to me....

As many of you know, I'm away from home right now. In an e-mail regarding my spiritual formation group's activity this week, 3 words were quoted to me as words relevant to the rich discussion that took place in my absence. The words are "seeker or pursuer?" Upon reflection, I find these words so apt to the study of Merton's life and to the examples to his fellow Monks and laypersons.

At some point in Merton's young adulthood, he was definitely a seeker. He knew there was something more than just living life as a mortal being - aimlessly, without purpose. Although not raised in a church-going family, his parents apparently had Christian roots and pursued church and worship in some manner from time to time, Merton and his younger brother were never "schooled" in worship or religion. Yet, in young adulthood, Merton began to question God's existence and to seek God and what it meant to be a child of the Creator.

Although I have been using Thomas Merton, A Book of Hours, for prayer time the last six weeks or so, and have touched on Merton works and reflections in the past few weeks, I have just begun reading his autobiography, The Seven Storey Mountain. In the first few chapters, it is clear to me that Merton was a "seeker" and yet, without jumping ahead in the autobiography, I also know enough about him from earlier study to state his philosophy (declared in my first paragraph above) was as one who sought and found God. I believe at some point, probably very clear to Merton himself, he left the role of seeker and took on the cloak of pursuer. He was not happy to sit on the sidelines and play with the niceness or fierceness of God's presence. He became the pursuer knowing full well that what he sought was present and waiting for his pursuit.

In my present life, this dominance of Merton's examples makes me ponder my own existence as seeker or pursuer. Have I passed the seeking stage? Perhaps. Am I more in the pursuing stage? I think so. I have long left the stage of needing to be convinced that there is a God. I seem to be in the stage of wanting to know God, to be more aware of God's presence in my life - more purposely, less accidentally.

So, how about you - seeker or pursuer and what does that mean to you - I'd love to hear from you.

Photo - SS - Maui sky - "Hymn at Dusk"

Interrupted Silence

icy winter - snowy dawn
faintly crunching footfalls sound

only those awake to pray and to listen
will hear

Photo - SS - Snowy Winter '09

Reflection upon a John Baillie prayer......

Beginning my morning devotions with John Baillie's prayer for the first day of the month, this one being, January 1, 2009, I came upon this phrase - "For the great and mysterious opportunity of my life." Because I use this little Baillie book regularly, it is not the first time that I have seen the phrase, it is just the first time I've stopped to personally reflect upon it -

Life, opportunity

My dreams and aspirations
God’s plan and manifest will
Mysterious….can they be the same

Life, opportunity
A curse, a gift
A package of sorrow or hope
To remain sealed or to be opened

Can I reject the life, the opportunity
Can I change my destiny

Change God’s will
The will – free or not – whose and which is it?

Photo - The Cloisters, 12/23/08 - SS

Advent - magic or what?

In a beautiful Advent post over at Anchors and Masts, I replied with a short comment about waiting. Rereading that comment yesterday, whilst trying to figure out where the missing author of the post is secluded, I decided I would like to share and expand my Advent thoughts here.

In preparation for the Season I selected what looked like a perfect Advent book of readings, set aside time for prayer, incorporating the book and its scripture readings into my morning worship, and then began "the wait." This first few days went by and I found myself feeling a little silly expecting “something grand and magical” to waft over me just because I'd set the stage! (Maybe I needed more props - probably a candle, I should be lighting a candle!)

Amused by myself and what my prayer receiver must be thinking about my dramatic stage set and expectation of immediate gratification - i.e., results - I realize I'm maybe not so far off track as my selfish need for the "now" might indicate.

Advent - it's the waiting season, duh! what's happening, or not, is a clear picture for me of Advent's reality. The uncertainty, the waiting, the expectation ARE the Advent story - perhaps directly related with other results oriented patterns that come into our lives. How do we handle those other patterns? Waiting for happiness, in the void acting as though we are happy and whoops, we sometimes are! Christian behavior....try acting like a Christian often enough and magic, is it(?) we become Christian. Waiting for Jesus, act as though we are, we are. Becoming aware of the waiting may produce a swifter more miraculous find than we expect - Jesus is already with us, observing the coming, reminding us of the joy that his birth has brought to our lives.

Advent - it's all about the waiting....sometimes long, sometimes boring, sometimes nothingness - but if the “awaited” is all about the birth of Christ then the long, the boring, the nothingness will be worth the wait and in the meantime, he may be found sooner rather than later! Magic or what?

How's your waiting these days?

Photo - Courtesy Religious Mall

Dusk speaks as the Dahlia

THE DAHLIA

Lounging lazily in the bed
discovering the others have faded
she alone remains

Her brilliant color holds fast
fading a little
still she lingers

"Curious,
why do they fade
when the light of early fall still warms our bed?"

She feels herself slipping, fading, yet
faithfully rejoicing
confident in her resolve to find renewal and resurrection

SS

Photo - courtesy of Lucy Creates

Spiritual Exploration

Some time in Spring over at Abbey of the Arts I saw an invitation to a Contemplative Art Retreat (during Advent) entitled "Exploring Monastic Rhythms Through Art & Movement," I decided, for some reason, to give it a go......the exploration of sacred rhythms of my life was more than intriguing - it seemed a must! Little did I know what bounty was in store.

The retreat experience for me seemed specifically designed to awaken, to permeate, to support - not only my faith and spiritual resolve - but my growing curiosity and involvement with the creative process.

The retreat's structure was built upon the ancient practice of praying the hours - dawn, day, dusk and night. Yoga, reflections, scripture, music, poetry and art-making were scheduled around and specifically to the rhythms of time and my place in that time. It was a powerful experience.

I shared a bit of poetry with you yesterday, will continue to do so today - probably all week, and maybe through Advent:) Some of the poetry will be mine, some will be from Thomas Merton, A Book of Hours edited by Kathleen Deignan, and some will be from Holy scripture.

DAWN - What secret and intrepid visitor softly springs the locks of time. Thomas Merton

DAWN - I will know your first footfall, I am eager to greet you.
Sunrise Sister

DAWN - I fly with the wings of the dawn.
From Psalm 139

What do you feel about the dawn? Do you ever actually see it? Do you greet it or does it greet you? Can you actually recollect any important feelings in your life about the dawn?

A big disconnect......

A big disconnect appeared before my eyes this weekend during a disocesan convention. I was not a delegate, rather invited as a visitor/spouse to the event, meaning that I could drop in and drop out of the sessions as I pleased. A lot of the time it pleased me to drop out:)

BUT I was present for the final closing session at which our Episcopal Bishop, as well as our invited speaker, a noted Episcopal theologian, were summarizing the positive aspects of coming together in our disocesan numbers, as well as discussing and taking questions regarding our Bishop's recent attendance at the Lambeth Conference in England. (Without boring you with too many details, you probably know that the Episcopal Church has had some issues regarding human sexuality that have been bounced around in our churches and in the national, as well as international news media). .....the Bishop in summary was saying that at the Lambeth Conference rather than dwelling on issues of sexuality, the conference was to share conversation about lives in our communities of the world, to share table stories in order to see the face of God in one another, to see that we are in this world together, not just as sexual beings but as human beings.

In fact, the subject of sexuality did indeed present itself at the Lambeth Conference but as one South African Bishop explained, he might even "long" for the luxury of dwelling on issues of sexuality instead of the facts that he and his villagers were miles, and those are "walking" miles from clean water; that issues of disease and health were more important subjects for his concern.....and yes, for the world's concern! As our bishop offered the details of that story from South Africa, the seated audience approved and seemed to feel the heartache and importance of that true statement, their approval indicated by a nodding of heads and murmurs - until - one of our members stood to take on the subject of sexualtiy, a stand in which he had the whole issue figured out for us! He suggested that since only about 10% of the population, I was not sure which population he was basing his statistic on, were in the gay or lesbian category, that they were leading the rest of the 90% around by the nose and wouldn't it just be better if we got rid of them, turned them loose......frankly I was so shocked at the words coming from his lips that I can't quote exactly what he said. The audience all but booed him out of the room with the noted theologian reminding the listener of Jesus leaving the 99 and going back for the 1 lost sheep. The speaker muttered as he sat down, that Jesus had been wrong about that too!!

So, there you have it. A big disconnect? - I believe so. How does one espouse the words of Christ as Redeemer and then utter words of just "losing the 10%" or whatever fictitious data one chooses to use for stating one's case? Do I do that? Do you do that? Whether the case is sexuality misunderstanding or interpretation or orientation, or political conversation and maneuvering, do we just shut down and say to hell with the others? Is that what our God, our conscience, our gifts of intelligence and reasoning incline us to do? Have I checked my "connections" lately - have you?

And a sort of P.S. .....to emphasize a point, I do NOT personally suggest that persons who have different sexual preferences than my own - as if my sexual preferences were anyone's business OTHER than my own - are living the lives of "lost sheep." My point in agreeing with the theologian, who addressed the man/person/human being who wants to rid the church of the 10% troublemakers, by citing Jesus as leaving the 99 and going back for the 1, is that ALL lives are important to our Creator, and we must strive not to diminish those lives by our every day selfish actions and/or proclamations - so there!!!!

Transformation, The Long Way Round

Reading the marvelous book by Sue Monk Kidd*, "When the Heart Waits", I find so many words that resonate with me, it is difficult to select a specific, only one today for contemplation. However, just returning from a very hard workout at the YMCA, my fingers have walked me back to this section of the book.....

Ms. Kidd relates a marvelous story from her childhood regarding the catching of tadpoles. If you happen to have the book, for a reminder it's on page 18-19; her telling of the tale leads to her back to this thought - "Transformations come only as we go the long way round, only as we're willing to walk a different, longer, more arduous, more inward, more prayerful route."

How true that reflection is in my life on so many levels. The YMCA workout - why do I go there regularly? Why do I sweat like a piggie, strain like an ox (pretty huh?) and on Yoga days, attempt to bend into pretzel poses? It has something to do with where my body wants to go , or stay, and what my inquisitive mind, placed in Drs. Roizen and Oz books, has discovered about getting there. As we age and slow our daily routines, our flexibility as well as our strength begins to wane. Yes, hopefully it is inevitable that we age - I don't argue with that and really don't mind it (not much!!!) but I do want to be in the best shape I can be for living life to its fullest - so going to the YMCA regularly for classes, varied in style and purpose, is my effort to take the long way around to living a longer and more comfortable life.

I've started to use my paints and brushes again and am loving the activity. It challenges my mind, my hand to eye stuff, small muscle/big muscle dexterity. But, whoops, I'm remembering, results don't just appear. They have to be contemplated, studied, canvas or surface must be prepared. In collage, many pieces must be gathered and mapped, AND for me, there has to be some photography, research, and sketching done prior to laying down a finished piece. Again, the long way around I've found brings me more satisfying results.

Finally, no place is clearer or more satisfying than the long way round with God. Why not just a quick "hi" and "let's get on with it" day? And sometimes that is what happens - not on God's side but on mine. Fortunately, at least I believe that God is careful and patient and although heavenly knowledge, far exceeding my earthly attempts at braininess (is that a word?) knows I need more than that quick "hi" - some days I think that will do. Having now communed with God for most of my life, sometimes more faithfully than other times, I realize without a doubt that there's nothing but the long way 'round for me to feel the presence, to know the comfort, to honestly confess and beg for forgiveness. I'm grateful that God has given me the life I've had so far. Some lessons have definitely been learned by going the long way 'round. Those lessons are the ones that I believe lead me to transformation of body, mind and spirit.

So how 'bout you? Long way 'round - does it or has it ever taught you lessons to be remembered?

Photo - SS - in prep for next collage
*Sue Monk Kidd book on loan from Lucy

Spiritual and emotional life - adrift?

Returning from a couple of leisure weeks in Honolulu and Portland, I find that my spiritual boat has drifted a little. Although it is impossible to ignore the beautiful God-given gifts in the two aforementioned cities, e.g., the scenery, the weather, the rainbows, the ocean, the family....and on and on; however, my spiritual discipline of focused attention to God's presence in my life is not as keen when vacationing as it is when I arise at the same time, focus on my faith firsthand and then move into my day. So, why upon returning to home, was I not surprised to open Henri J.M. Nouwen's daybook, Bread for the Journey daybook, and find the following reading waiting for me -

The Dynamics of the Spiritual Life - Our emotional lives and our spiritual lives have different dynamics. The ups and downs of our emotional lives depend a great deal on our past or present surroundings. We are happy, sad, angry, bored, excited, depressed, loving, caring, hateful, or vengeful because of what happened long ago or what is happening now.

The ups and downs of our spiritual lives depend on our obedience - that is, our attentive listening - to the movements of the Spirit of God within us. Without this listening our spiritual life eventually becomes subject to the windswept waves of our emotions.

So, do you relate to the emotional/spiritual dimensions of your lives as I do mine? Have you found your present surroundings or circumstances suddenly jumping up and stamping for no reason having to do with the present, but perhaps with a long list of issues you have been unwilling to face in either your immediate or long-distant past? Do you find your own spiritual boat drifting as I've described mine to do, only to immediately find God's ever present assurance patiently waiting for your willing obedience to return?

Here's to my and your emotional and spiritual balance remaining friendly and as steady as we can manage as we go about our lives this week. Thanks for visiting the Mindsieve!



Photo - SS, Kanehoe Bay, Hawaii

Like-Minded Folk

Having listened to a National Public Radio broadcast last week regarding the splintering of America into living in like-minded neighborhoods - we drive the same vehicles, we have small children or teenagers, or we're retired, we speak the same language, we wear the same clothes, we drink the same beer or wine, we VOTE the same, we DISLIKE the same people or groups of people, we work for the same kinds of companies or in the same industries, and on and on so, as I found myself last evening in a buffet line with one of my fellow town citizens, fellow Americans, and someone whom I've known through church and some social events, I recalled the NPR broadcast realizing that there's not much chance that he and I would ever to choose to "splinter" off into the same neighborhood living situation.

He, for whatever reason, began to tell me that small town America is gone, that this nation is on a downright spiral that can never be turned back that if that "guy" Obama was elected there would be no doubt that America was "over." Obama, socialist that he is, has zero going for him. He has no experience, he knows nothing of America's values, his presidency would be a disaster.....(my buffet line friend did say that as long as Obama had a teleprompter he could give a good speech.)

All of this was delivered in rapid fire order with my "friend" becoming angrier and angrier as he spoke. When he took a breath, I suggested that I did not necessarily share his views but since he was so anti-Obama what did he believe McCain's strengths were. Well, he wasn't so sure about McCain but he knew he would be better than Obama. I then suggested that although I respected Mr. McCain's life experiences I felt he would just be a continuance of George Bush's presidency - the worst in our history. To which he replied that Bush hadn't done everything correctly but that he was right in going to war in Iraq and that "everybody else" had screwed things up beginning right after "we declared the war WON in Iraq" and now it was a mess! He granted that McCain is a nice guy but nice guys don't get elected anymore - like they ever did? My counter to that was that I thought George Bush was probably a nice guy - just incapable of being a president.

Taking hardly a breath, he launched into GB being "pushed" into a stand on global warming saying to even consider such a stupid concept was a mistake on the president's behalf. That there are at least 35 scientists in the world that believe there is no such thing as global warming and that dope, Al Gore, who put a story and a book up on a powerpoint screen being awarded the Nobel Peace Prize was the craziest thing he had ever heard of.

My response, both calm and measured, to this enlightenment (I guess that was what it was supposed to be) was that I did not agree with him on the points he had made but that it was interesting to listen to him as his viewpoint on America, the political process, the "won" war, global warming, and such was one that I seldom encountered. I think that was when we parted the buffet line!

So back to my opening comments about listening and choosing to live with like-minded folk - I do not hanker to spend an evening or even a few minutes listening or debating with my "buffet friend" again. And believe me, I am certain he feels the same way!

Regrettably or naturally(?), I would choose to be with like-minded folk rather than attempting to share religious or political views with an angry, adult, narrow minded white American male - (whew, sounds like there's a lot of anger in that sentence.) But truly, I do have friends with different political and religious interpretations that I can share or at least listen to without becoming angry myself....I think.....

Do we grow by only listening to like-minded folk? Do we grow by listening to those we consider less informed than we, more bigoted than we, more judgmental than we? (I threw in the judgmental for obvious reasons there - my biased writing is critically cruel and perhaps bigoted that I would lump a group of angry, adult, etc. - into the mix.) Do we fool ourselves into thinking we are open-minded and progressive, capable of listening to another's point of view without becoming the person to whom we listen but still disagree? What would our gut tell us, what would our religious thermometer tell us, how do we tell our story to someone who is so angry and feels so cheated in their ability to influence the world? Do I listen to like-minded folk so much that my wishful thinking for a better America, for a better world is clouded by the voice of other than like-minded friends who speak what they consider to be the "truth"?

How about your relationships, and I don't mean buffet line talk. Are they capable of holding up under differing religious and political views or do you draw the line and decide to discontinue them because a discouraging word has been "fired across the bow?" I'm asking YOU this question as at the same time I seriously ask myself the same question.

Accept the good

A few weeks ago watching a movie entitled, "Things We Lost in the Fire", I heard one of the characters use the little statement - "accept the good".

I liked the sound of it right away; it was simple, to the point, it was thanksgiving. The words have echoed repeatedly in my mind and frankly, I planned to fashion a nice little post around those three words.

I've contemplated (surprise, surprise) the words and now find none other to brighten the little light bulb sentence - it wins the "aha" prize from me with no further explanation.

So, that's my offering for today - "accept the good."

Photo SS & CP - "accepting the good" in Maui

Squatter's Rights - they're a hoot!!

Squatters' Rights - what does that immediately bring to your mind - homesteaders of the 1800's, tree dwellers of the 1970's, indigent squatters of today under overpasses, or in squalid, abandoned city dwellings?

How about movie theater seat selection or season ticket holders at major events? Do persons have a notion of where they'll sit every concert season or where their rightful place is in the movie theater - do they want a middle section seat for best viewing and listening or an easy and fast exit seat in case of emergency or trips to the concession stands and/or restrooms?

How about your favorite yoga or aerobics classes - do you want to be near the instructor in order to view the proper poses or do you want to melt into the back rows of newcomers, hoping no one will see your missteps?

There's a lot to be said about all of the aforementioned squatters and rights gained by the habituation of favorite locales.

One of my up close and personal viewing of squatters' rights is that practiced in CHURCH PEWS. How about you? If you attend church regularly in the same building with the same cast of congregants, most likely you could chart the nave (that's where the pews are) with near accuracy revealing where you and your fellow worshipers settle in to sing, kneel, weep, laugh, pray, and praise.

But where do the "rights" go when the innocent newcomer visits and not knowing of the squatters' rights pattern chooses the path of least resistance and sits in the back pew? WHOOPS - the visitor cannot know that there is a "regular" group that occupies those back pews. In general, that group of back row folks all know how they and their neighbors are going to act before, after and during church - be it reverently, restlessly, noisily, sneezily, coughily, (sneezily, coughily??) etc. So when an unsuspecting visitor usurps the squatters' rights, although it may not be fun to be the one being misplaced, the visitor hopefully will never know what disruption they've caused:)

Now, what becomes of the braver visitor who dares drift toward the middle or front pews? Can they feel the disappointment, the surprise, even the outrage (occasionally) of the one whom they have displaced by their presence?

I ask that you ponder this with me as I face, in Fall 2008, what promises to be a new squatter opportunity. Having been the Rector(Episcopal pastor/preacher/etc.) spouse in our current community for nearly eight years, he and I have now been banned (a custom of the Episcopal Church - the retiring priest vacates the premises, even worship in that particular congregation until after a new Rector is selected). When we return to our home parish in Fall '08, (the new rector has now been called), my spouse plans to become a part of the choir. I, on the other hand, will be back in the congregation and do not feel comfortable in reclaiming my "spot" - right side pews, relatively close to the front of the nave - I would prefer less visibility and believe that to be the "polite" decision - keeping a lower profile.

I know, I know that all sounds so trivial in the scheme of things but we are funny creatures settling into comfortable surroundings and worshipers in a parish. Regulars notice when someone is missing on a Sunday, somehow keeping that person(s) in their hearts for the week surmising their absence is business or personal travel, a vacation, perhaps an illness that should be acknowledged, at least the absence is not left completely unnoticed.

When I first selected my space 8 years ago, I was in the far right of the pew up front and our resident town hermit, Harlan Miller by name - extremely faithful in attendance, poor as a church mouse, never married - sat in the left side of the same pew. I watched him for years place two or three pennies and sometimes a nickel in the offering plate, always reminding me of Jesus' widow's mite story. Harlan generally acknowledged me with a nod upon entering the pew, seldom more. His faithful attendance and financial gifts to the offering plate were observed and cherished by many of us.

Harlan was just short of his 90th birthday when he died. His pew seat was empty for a while after his death. Those around missed him dearly and respected his space. Then one Sunday a.m. someone rather new to the congregation slipped into the spot where he had resided for so many years. I felt a great sadness that a.m. not wanting someone to take up Harlan's space. I laughed at myself for thinking such a thing. Petty, selfish, territorial I scooted into that same space for a few of the next Sundays following the visitor's claim that day. In fact, it became "my space" for quite a long while and then for some reason I moved back to the right hand side of the pew and someone new did actually become a faithful attender and claim Harlan's spot....although, of course, they did not claim H's spot, they just saw an empty seat and wanted to sit there.

Months later, scheduled as a reader of the epistle, I scooted to the left of the pew for easy access to the aisle and to the sanctuary steps and reader's podium. The regular holder of that spot, a very good friend of mine, whispered from behind me that morning - "you're in my seat:)"

So, I pose a question to you regarding seating when I return as a regular to this worshiping community. Where do I sit - in my old spot, in a new spot on the left side of the church, way in the back, way up front? What would you do? Where would you sit? Have you ever or never come upon social squatters' rights before - if you say no, then I meekly suggest that you pay more attention to the peculiar habits of persons in public arenas and in church - it could be the subject of YOUR next post:)

Photo - SS- Holy Innocents Church, Maui - Ash Wednesday '08

Cafe Writing Exercise - gulp!

Don't take it too seriously, this little challenge from Cafe Writing. I chose Option 6 requiring a timed writing on the narrow subject of men and women. Daunting? Perhaps! Here's what burst out of my mind onto the keyboard during my seven minute effort....

Men and women, do we ever tire of hearing our own thoughts and comparing them to others’ thoughts? The women feeling quite sure they will never live up to their sisters’ lives, or work, or ambitions - the men perhaps feeling the same towards their respective brothers’ lives. When, in fact, the examples that, not necessarily blood relative sisters and brothers, strangers give us are oft enough courage to launch journeys, professions, loves, dangers, safety that we would never have thought possible having not seen the example of their respective lives from afar.

Why is it that both men and women will often take the word of a total stranger to be truth beyond that truth that their closest friends and relatives speak to them of unceasingly? Why is the stranger’s opinion needed to validate men and women’s talents - daytime pursuits, parenthood, friendship and artistic works – be it two dimensional, multi-dimensional, musical, theatrical, literary?

Are all men and women born insecure and grow into the security that will define them…….end of seven minutes.

I know - I should keep my day job! Thanks for visiting:)

Listening to my own advice....

This past week was a fun-filled one that, among many activities, included 3 hours of stability ball classes, 2 hours of yoga and 12 miles of walking. Some of you may be thinking --- she should get a life -- and what's that got to do with advice? My thoughts about advice do NOT pertain to exercise per se, but to something that happened to me this week in the ball class sessions.

Newcomers to the ball classes were three young women, probably in their 30's; one looking painfully thin, 2 looking painfully NOT, taking positions close to "my" regular exercise spot. It's nice to have more bodies in the class except for the following...they barely listened to the instructor, gave half efforts at actually exercising and spent the entire hour(s) chatting among themselves. As you might guess, I'm fairly "into" this class and want no distractions or noise besides the loud music and the instructor's voice. I tossed a couple less than friendly glances in their direction and considered asking them to be quiet or "telling on them":( in order for the instructor to quiet them!

Walking home from the gym (part of the mileage), grumpily pondering my next action toward the trio, giving myself nothing but negative advice, the following story came to my mind.

Being the spouse of an Episcopal church's priest for many wonderful years, I find that persons in a congregation occasionally decide that the priest's spouse wields a lot of power and is just the right target to which they can aim a complaint. And so, a complaint call came to me one morning from a relatively new parishioner. The complaint was that, on the back row of the church where she had decided she wanted to sit, there was a small boy accompanying his parents to church each Sunday who was VERY fidgety, not very quiet, and who, in general, made this new parishioner uncomfortable during the service. She wondered what "I" could do about the situation.

Several thoughts came to mind as I knew the small boy and his parents and I knew with what trepidation they came to church, wanting so desperately to be a part of a church family and yet so worried that their restless child would upset someone. Many of us had coaxed and pleaded for the family to keep up their Sunday discipline, promising (prayerfully AND with fingers crossed) that their little boy would become accustomed to the quiet and settle down. The new parishioner, well, I wanted her there too but she had not yet earned "squatter's rights" as so many of us do in our home churches and without another thought I suggested the solution for her would be to move to another pew of the church, one that would be more comfortable for her personal worship. I believe she was hoping for something more dramatic than my suggestion and regretfully felt a bit chided in that I wasn't more responsive to HER individual needs.......

Now, that's a long way 'round to get to the scolding I eventually came to give myself on my walk home. I have no idea why the trio attends stability ball class - maybe it's to exercise, maybe it's the only moment in their lives that they're without their kids (we have a sitter service during class), maybe they haven't seen each other in years - who knows? But the point is, "grownup" (?) that I am, and remembering the church story, I've decided that nothing prevents me from leaving my squatter's rights and moving to another part of the gym where the quiet and attention to exercising is more apparent. The trio can certainly remain in the class as long as it suits their needs. With three additional bodies in the class there's no danger that this particular class will be closed out during the summer and that's the good news for me:)

So, the point is, of course, how often am I ready to give advice, advice I think is just the "right" advice and how seldom do I stop to take my own as well I should? I look pretty good in this instance, anyway. Any stories come to your mind about the advice you give - is it worth taking - do you listen to you?


photo - SS - The Banyan Tree, Maui

Contemplation, the Real and the Ridiculous

Contemplation - one of my favorite pastimes. To consider or ponder thoughtfully - The American Heritage Dictionary

While reading Winter Grace/Spirituality and Aging by Kathleen Fischer, I came upon the following "real" thoughts about contemplation.

1. A receptive mode of awareness, the ability to really attend to life and take in its gifts Would that I could pull up this awareness more often and revel in the amazing gifts present every day in my life!

2. Contemplation can fill an empty silence with the reality of God's presence The same is true of God's presence. I pray often that in my empty silence I would be aware of God's constant presence in my life. A prayer that I find worth repeating often!

So, those are the real and now for a bit of ridiculous - take a minute, o.k just a minute and contemplate "something".....I don't know, maybe your navel - (Is that useless phase stored away in only my mind or in others who have studied contemplation?)

Anyway, while contemplating said navel - think on this - there's a California fad in cosmetic surgery now to have one's navel surgically removed - yuk!...I told you, contemplation is weird sometimes. (In light of #2 above, I hope this last bit of info doesn't seem totally sacrilegious - not meant to be.) But remember you heard it first here at Mind Sieve - the navel thing, I mean.....

Mind Sieve seems to be at work today.....anything your own "sieve" is contemplating or working on today?


Photo - Sunrise Sister - Bellville, TX B&B, Somewhere in Time